


When the Moon fell in love with the Sun

by SherlockWolf



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), AkuSai, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Asexual Roxas, Canon-Typical Violence, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friendship is Magic, Gen, Getting Back Together, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Kingdom Hearts III Speculation, M/M, Multi, Nightmares, Nonbinary Xion, Rebuilding, Recovery, Reunions, Sleepy Cuddles, Slow Build, Soriku - Freeform, Terraqua - Freeform, everyone is 18+, lots of friendships, the author thinks they're funny so yall are in for a good time, this is first and foremost an akusai fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-15
Updated: 2019-02-05
Packaged: 2019-08-02 10:23:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 20,340
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16303370
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SherlockWolf/pseuds/SherlockWolf
Summary: Life isn't easy, nor does it ever turn out the way you expect. Lea expected to live the rest of his life with Isa, and boy was he wrong. Or, was he? Will the end of this terrible folktale turn out alright for this Sun and his Moon?~A speculative post-KH3 fic that explores the developing relationships between all the heroes of this series.





	1. Chapter 1

    Lea sat alone, favourite ice cream in hand and legs dangling over the edge of the short wall. Nervous energy coursed through his veins, preventing him from relaxing as he’d intended. They almost had all of the warriors of Light and were preparing to end it all very soon. Sora had left to find the last one that morning, so Lea was here, waiting for the call. The war against Xehanort was looming in every shadow in the town below.

    When he’d finished his ice cream, but had yet to hear from Sora, he practiced his fire. One of the most upsetting parts of becoming human again was that he had to retrain himself to avoid getting burned. For so many years he hadn’t been able to feel the flames eat his skin; he’d forgotten what _burning_ felt like. The first time he’d summoned his flames in Merlin’s training, he’d walked away with pink skin and hairless arms—betrayed by the one friend he never thought he’d lose.

    Practice had brought the magic back under his control. Now, he created various displays in the open air in front of him with ease, the fire never touching his skin. He could feel the warmth, still, and was grateful for it. Lea despised the cold.

    The sound of a portal opening on the opposite side of the clock face drew Lea’s attention. Sora was supposed to call him. Whoever was here was more than likely bad news. He waited, hand poised to light a flame, listening to the stranger’s footsteps as they approached…except he knew the sound of those feet.

    Not relaxing per se, Lea repositioned so that he still looked casual even though his heart rate had tripled. He pulled one leg up to his chest, ready to spring into action if need be. Saïx was an enemy, but Lea didn’t want to fight him today. Or ever, but that was out of his control. Much like his fire had been.

    The footsteps became accompanied by a black-clad figure in Lea’s peripheral until they halted a few feet away. Then the Nobody sat on the edge with his back to the sun, sickening gold eyes focused on Lea.

    “Habits die hard, I see.”

    Lea snorted, allowing bitterness to color his reply. “So does Xehanort.”

    Saïx looked away. “Why are you here, Lea?”

    The cold, flat cadence of Saïx’s voice sent shivers down Lea’s spine. He couldn’t wait to hear _Isa’s_ voice, full of teasing mirth and quiet inquiry. But the cost…

    “I could ask you the same thing.”

    “Do not be quick with me. You know that this world is dangerous for you and your friends.”

    “How about, _it’s none of your business_.” Lea snapped, not falling prey to Saïx’s kind words of caution.

    Lea wouldn’t let himself be manipulated into giving away critical information, not matter what games Saïx tried to play. Saïx had no counterargument, instead he stood, moving behind Lea who watched him closely. Just because he wasn’t up for fighting didn’t mean Saïx would behave.

    Saïx kneeled beside the clock face, reaching behind it and groping around for something. Lea’s breath caught in his chest—did he remember? There was a box in his arms as he stood and returned to his spot beside Lea, this time a foot or so away. The box filled the space on the ledge between them, and gingerly Saïx began to pick through it. He stacked book upon book on the ground behind them, reading each title aloud before moving to the next.

    Lea felt dizzy, and he tried to remind himself to remain objective. This box of books was from their very first year as Nobodies, when they still knew who they were. Together, they’d snuck out of the Castle and gone to their homeworld, clinging to each other as they found their way to the wreckage of their homes. Within, they’d decided to collect all of the books that were salvageable. Once accomplished, they’d brought the heavy box here, a world they’d never been to and never expected anyone else to find.

    The implications that Saïx still remembered the box worried Lea. Was he going to use the box to glean information? What else did he remember, after all this time, and had never let on?

    The first book Saïx paused on was _The Neverending Story,_ which had been Isa’s favourite since childhood. He held the book up for Lea to see, the illustration of a white dragon reflecting in the twilight.

    “I loved this one.” Saïx murmured as he set the book on the pile and continued sifting. 

    “You did.”

    Isa had read that one aloud to him on multiple occasions, Lea falling asleep every time so that they’d have to backtrack. Isa’s voice had been so soothing…

    The second one he showed to Lea was Lea’s own favourite, _The Land Before Time_. It was a short picture book that Lea’s mother had given to him the same year he’d met Isa in elementary school. Then, the gigantic beasts had captured his imagination. Now, he was all too familiar with gargantuan monsters.

    “Through all the worlds I’ve seen, I have yet to find creatures like these.” Saïx mused.

    “I think I’ve seen worse.” Lea muttered.

    Saïx pretended not to hear. The next book that he picked up made Lea’s stomach clench. _The Little Prince._ Lea began to reach for the book, then changed his mind and placed his hand near the corner of the box, leaning over it a little. He didn’t want to draw attention to that one, even though his hesitation had done just that.

    “I don’t remember this one.” Saïx’s tone was pointed.

    “It’s…not important.” Lea had no reason to share anything about _that person_ with Saïx, no matter how important it actually was.

    Why hadn’t Sora called him yet?

    “I don’t believe you.”

    “I don’t care.”

    Saïx let it go, continuing to pile up books until he reached the bottom. Through the thick silence he refilled the box, then set it on the ground. In his thoughts, Lea begged his phone to ring. Saïx regarded him, brow furrowed in thought. Probably debating how best to trick Lea into giving away Sora’s mission.

    But what he asked was nothing Lea could have expected.

    “What’s your plan for me?” Saïx asked, voice disturbingly quiet and tired, as though he were asking the hangman where to stand.

    Perhaps he was.

    “What do you mean?”

    “If you win. What will you do with me?” Saïx leaned closer, like he was challenging Lea to show rather than tell.

    Their faces were too close, unspoken tension raging between their forms as they observed one another. Anger, hurt, and at least in Lea’s case, love, fueled the electricity. Saïx’s fingers strayed near Lea’s. He didn’t flinch away, but now he could feel his heartbeat in his throat.

    “If we win…I’m going to get Isa back. And _you_ will be destroyed.” Lea whispered, stretching his fingers just enough to brush Saïx’s.

    “Will you forgive him?” His voice was a breath, the sound of hope within a dying soul.

    “Yes.”

    Fingers intertwined. “I want you to be the one.”

    Lea’s heart stopped. “I…”

    But it had to be him. He knew that, too. If Isa were to come back, Lea would have to watch his visage die by his own hand. That final connection would allow Isa to find him in the next life. It was how Lea had found Sora. It was how Sora was finding _him_.

    “ _Promise me_ , Lea.” Isa—no, Saïx—insisted, other hand cupping Lea’s jaw.

    Lea hated himself for leaning into the touch.

    “I promise, _Isa_ , I will bring you home.”

    Saïx nodded his approval, then leaned forward to—.

    Damn that cellphone.

    The purely obnoxious sound that exploded from the thing shattered Lea’s eardrums. Saïx was on his feet before Lea could blink, stance ready for an unknown attack. Lea pulled it from his pocket and shut off the offensive sound by allowing Sora’s call to go through. The kid’s face appeared on the screen, a tired but elated smile on his face.

    “What is that?” Saïx hissed.

    “Hey uh, give me one sec.” Lea told Sora, making sure to turn the screen backward so Saïx wouldn’t be visible.

    Looking at Saïx after what had transpired made him jittery, but Lea powered through it enough to give his not-friend a slight smile.

    “Listen, it’s been fun, but I’ve got some _business_ to do.” Lea hoped Saïx would get his point.

    He did, and a darkness portal opened in front of the clock face. They shared a thought through one another’s eyes, in which each understood when they would meet next and what their respective roles would be. Lea reveled in the fact that Saïx _wanted_ to become Isa again, even though the process would be horrid. Then the Nobody was gone.

    Lea turned his phone back around.

    “Who’re you talking to?” Sora spoke through a yawn.

    Behind him, Lea could make out the thick trees of the forest just outside town.

    “Locals. What time is it? You’ve been gone all day.” Lea hated how much he sounded like a parent.

    Being surrounded by rowdy teens will do that to a guy.

    “It’s not that late! Is it? Hey Riku, what time is it?” Sora looked over his shoulder, and Lea heard Riku’s distinct grumbled response.

    “We were in there for eight hours, Sora.”

    “Really? Jeeze. Well anyway, the mission was a success so meet us at the ship. Did you have any trouble?”

    Lea had been acting as both guard dog an lure in case any Organization members had caught on to what they were doing. Though Saïx had clearly been sent to figure that out, he’d chosen not to interrogate Lea, whose vigilance had been unnecessary. He realized that Saïx was helping them the best he could by not having anything valuable to report to Xehanort, and Lea couldn’t help but smile.

    “No trouble at all.”

    “Sora who is that?” A woman’s voice, sounding so much like Kairi, asked close to the phone.

    But Kairi was back at Yen Sid’s tower. So who was she?

    “No no no no, you guys are going to ruin the surprise.” Sora placed the phone against his chest, blocking Lea’s view of anything other than fabric.

    “What surprise, who are you talking to?”

    Lea knew that voice. Deciding he couldn’t wait a second longer he hung up, opened a light portal, and jumped.

    The Gummy Ship was tucked in the forest, its invisibility cloak down since no one was expected to be this far from town. Lea leaned against the door frame, arms crossed over his chest, again trying to mimic the image of cool and collected even though his heart still thudded twice the normal speed, the fresh memories of Saïx lingering in his skin. Today had turned out to be exciting in more ways than expected.

    He listened to the arguing teens approaching, their voices carrying through the woods. For a little bit of fun, Lea put the hood of his cloak over his head, grinning at the thought of how his friends were going to react.

    When the group was in view, Lea saw Riku and a black-haired woman leading a still-at-odds Sora and Roxas. The woman was wearing an Organization cloak, and the longer Lea stared at her the more he felt that he knew her. But why couldn’t he remember her name?

    “Why can’t you tell me where he is?” Roxas was glaring at Sora, who had his arms crossed over his chest and a frown on his face.

    “Why do you hate surprises?”

    “I don’t! I just think that knowing where my best friend is is more important!”

    “Uh, guys, we have a problem.” The woman spoke again, and again Lea wondered why her voice sounded so familiar yet foreign.

    They paused at the woman’s warning, all eyes fixing on the figure leaning on their ship. Sora looked confused, Roxas and the woman angry, but Riku grinned.

    “Maybe he knows.” Riku suggested with mock seriousness, pointing at Lea with his bat-like keyblade.

    Roxas pushed to the front, summoning _both_ of his keyblades. Lea was still impressed by that ability. As far as he knew, Roxas was the only one who could do such a thing.

    “Alright you scum, tell me where Axel is.”

    Lea remained silent, trying his best not to laugh, or burst into tears, or both. His heart felt too heavy for his body. All he wanted to do was sweep Roxas into a hug and never let him go.

    “Roxas—.” Sora placed a hand on his shoulder, but the blond shook him off and began to stomp toward Lea.

    The woman rushed to his side, keyblade of her own appearing. Okay really, this was getting weird. There weren’t that many keyblade wielders, surely Lea knew her. So what was wrong with him that he couldn’t remember?

    Riku held back Sora, whispering something in his ear. They both giggled, Sora giving Lea a peace sign to show that he understood Lea was playing a prank.

    The pair stopped a few feet away, waiting for their adversary to respond. Now that he was up close, Lea was surprised to see how much Roxas had grown. He was taller, muscles more defined like Sora, blond hair shaggier like Ven. The boy Axel had known was gone, in his stead a young man Lea was going to be lucky enough to call his best friend.

    Roxas leveled the keyblade at Lea’s chest. “Tell. Me.”

    Lea decided now was as good a time as ever, and flipped down his hood. Roxas and the woman stared at him, shock etched into their faces. Then Lea found himself tackle-hugged against the ship.

    “You’re such an _asshole_.” Roxas growled, glaring up at Lea.

    “We were so worried.” The woman chimed in, her face hidden against his cloak.

    Tears filled all three pairs of eyes. Lea put his arms around their shoulders and chuckled.

    “Missed you, too.”

    “I hate to ruin the moment, but we need to leave before any _actual_ Organization members show up.”

    The trio looked over to find Riku standing in the doorway of the ship, Sora’s head poking over his shoulder. Reluctantly they all pulled away and went inside. Sora and Riku manned the controls while Lea got Roxas and the woman—he really needed to find out her name—settled on the recliners with water and snacks.

    He took it upon himself to fill them in on everything that had happened since Roxas had left the Organization. The story was a bit narrow, since it was from his point of view and Sora and the others had experienced far more than himself, but neither Roxas nor the woman minded. They asked plenty of questions, and along the way Lea learned that the woman’s name was Xion.

    It was clear that Xion had been an Organization member, and had been close with him and Roxas. But Lea just couldn’t remember. He felt terrible about it because he hated to forget friends—it had taken him a while to remember Ventus, but at least that had been mutual.

    Lea caught them up to the present just as the ship landed at Yen Sid’s tower. Both were eager to learn more about the plan to destroy Xehanort, who had made their short lives miserable. The trio followed Sora and Riku inside, where they found the rest of the warriors of Light discussing plans with the old master. After some somewhat awkward introductions, the newcomers joined the process, asking questions and giving inside information.

    When the hour was late, everyone departed to the magically expanded dormitory of the castle. They would decide the day for the attack tomorrow, for now they needed to rest.

    Xion had no issue claiming a new room for herself, a door popping up next to Kairi’s. The two girls had gravitated immediately upon meeting, and so it was no wonder Kairi offered to give Xion a tour of the small world in the morning.

    Roxas, however, hesitated when Sora began to guide him toward the end of the hall. Sora caught on to the reason behind Roxas’ discomfort long before Lea. With a wink and nudge, Sora followed Riku to their room.

    “Wanna talk for a bit?” Roxas asked Lea, blue eyes daring him to refuse.

    “Duh.” Lea agreed against his better judgement, as he was thoroughly exhausted and wanted nothing more than to be asleep.

    Well, maybe he wanted Roxas’ company more.

    They went into Lea’s room, pulled the comforter off the bed, and made a nest on the floor. They leaned their backs against the mattress with their legs sprawled in front of them, Roxas’ head pillowed on Lea’s shoulder, and Lea’s head pillowed on Roxas’.

   They talked through the night. Roxas didn’t bother to worry about stepping on Lea’s toes by talking about their past, nor did he complain if Lea did the same. They talked about the hard stuff—about their betrayals, the lies, the secrets, Axel’s embarrassingly desperate attempt to turn Sora into a heartless to rescue Roxas, and Roxas’ acceptance of his fate to be one with Sora. They talked about the bittersweet—of Roxas waking up every now and then and feeling trapped, of his resurrection from Sora’s heart and finally feeling free but somewhat empty, of Lea’s past before becoming a Nobody in Organization XIII, and of Isa. Finally, they talked about the happy things—past laughs, but also the freedom of the future, a future they could _share_.

    No one came to look for them in the morning, and it wasn’t until Lea got hangry that he stumbled from his room and discovered they’d slept on the floor until three in the afternoon. The date of the battle had been decided without them. Lea was glad he’d missed that, and equally glad that it would be within the week. The sooner he could get this hell over with, the better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed the first installment! Unfortunately, due to school, I'm not going to have a regular update schedule for a while.  
> As always, if there's any grammar/spelling weirdness let me know!  
> <3 sherlockwolf


	2. Chapter 2

    Aqua was sprawled on the grass outside Yen Sid’s tower, watching the stars of the in-between twinkle. There were so many of them, many of which were worlds of their own, bustling with life, joy, wonder, love, and beauty. She wondered, not for the first time, which world had been hers. Master Eraqus had been her surrogate father from the age of ten, and while she had memories of her original world, they were fuzzy and dull while those of the Land of Departure were bright and clear.

    She was not the only one who had memories of a forgotten home. Beside her sat Lea, a man whose life had been ripped away by the darkness, too. Their similar losses had led to their immediate friendship—that, and their twin adopted brothers. It was weird and unfortunate circumstances that had created Roxas, but after Aqua had met Lea, she understood why rescuing him mattered. Just as rescuing Ven mattered.

    Needless to say, they developed a habit of stargazing together long before Ven and Roxas were saved.

    It was during those nights that Aqua told her new friend about Terra. She talked about how much she missed him, how afraid she was to see him again, _if_ she would see him again. And…she admitted how much she _loved_ him. She’d never had anyone to tell before. Master Eraqus would have been upset at the risk to their training, and then she’d been trapped in the darkness for a decade, chasing phantoms.  She was desperate to see him again, and simultaneously terrified at the thought of how much he was going to have changed.

    Lea, she found, understood perfectly. He told her of his childhood lover, Isa, also possessed and tricked by Xehanort. That he planned to rescue him somehow, even if Isa would choose to turn away from him. Lea admitted that he was at fault for himself and Isa losing their lives to Xehanort, and that the most he’d ask for was Isa’s forgiveness. But he hoped for so much more.

    How funny a pair they were, herself and Lea. Each ousted from their home, each losing their brother to Xehanort’s evil will, each losing their lover to the lure of the darkness. Each equally impressed in the other for not throwing in the towel and giving in to the darkness themselves.

    Their motivations joined them, once they’d settled into the tower. Roxas only had a few days to participate in the routine, but it hadn’t taken him long to grow comfortable enough to fall asleep. Currently, his head was pillowed on Lea’s outstretched leg, surely cutting off the circulation. Ven was laying on Aqua’s other side his fluffy blond hair blocking some of her view of the stars.

    “Do you think we’ll find him?” Ven asked, voice distant as though a thought had slipped passed his tongue.

    “Yes. We have to.” Aqua refused to think otherwise.

    If Terra didn’t come back from this, Aqua was afraid she wouldn’t, either.

    “They’ll all come back, somehow.” Lea chimed in, sounding equally unsure.

    “Hmm.”

    This had been the general trend of conversation since the date of the battle had been decided. With the others, they debated strategy, stealth, and ways to escape if things went wrong. The others had their loved ones by their sides, so all they had to worry about was keeping each other alive. With each other, this little group was far more fearful for the ones they loved who were trapped on the wrong side. Aqua had decided it was depressing either way, which only increased her distress.

    “He means the world to you, doesn’t he?” Ven asked, his head tilting toward Lea as he changed the subject.

    “Isa?” Lea asked, revealing where his mind was.

    But Ven shook his head, “No. Roxas.”

    A soft _oh_ escaped Lea’s lips, and he looked down at the man asleep on his leg.

    “Yeah. He does.”

    “What’re you going to do?”

    “What do you mean?”

    “When Isa comes back.”

    Lea didn’t answer. Aqua watched as a realization bloomed across his face. What would happen to Roxas if Lea got caught up in Isa? Aqua wondered the same thing for Ven, if Terra came home. If she were that lucky, she knew her mind was going to try its hardest to create one track. Making sure Ven didn’t get left behind would be challenging. She hoped Lea would handle it better than herself.


	3. Chapter 3

    Getting Roxas to move from the yard was a challenge—intentionally. In part, because Roxas really did just want to stay there and sleep. In part, because Roxas loved annoying the hell out of Lea, and complaining ‘til the man’s ears fell off was a fast-track to _Axel-might-light-your-clothes-on-fire_ town.

    Having a fire mage for a best friend was always a good time.

    Aqua had been kind enough to leave the front door of the tower cracked open for them, well aware of this routine even after a handful of days. Roxas leaned heavily—excessively—against Lea’s warmth as he was half-dragged inside.

    “I don’t know why I bother.” Lea grumbled as they began the ascent up the stairs, “Between you and Xion I’m an unpaid babysitter.”

    “Not a baby.” Roxas grumbled back.

    His sleep-addled mind added, “You missed me.”

    Lea sighed. “Don’t make me regret it.”

    Roxas checked out for a few minutes while they continued to Lea’s room, then found himself snuggling into soft covers.

    “Rox, you’re not sleeping in your shoes.”

    “Yeah I am.”

    “Nope.” Lea sighed somewhere above his head, then Roxas felt his shoes being rudely stolen from his feet.

    Finally Lea laid next to him, and more by sixth sense than sight, Roxas latched onto him like an octopus. They adjusted a few times before finding a mutually comfortable cuddle zone, then both began to drift off.

    Except Roxas’ mind decided that now was the perfect time for him to start worrying about the future. The fight with Xehanort was going to be in two days, and no one was truly ready for it. Tensions had been running high and practice battles had been more aggressive over the past few days, so this morning Mickey had decided it would be best if everyone rest and try to save up energy for the actual fight.

    Roxas and Xion had taken advantage of the situation to go see the beach, together for the first time. They’d nearly had to force Lea to leave, not because Lea didn’t want to have fun with them, but because his anxiety about the upcoming battle was beginning to consume him. There was some aspect of it Lea was stressing over that he hadn’t told Roxas, who had subtly attempted to bring it up that morning at the beach, and at lunch, and before dinner, but Lea wouldn’t try the bait.

    Perhaps now that he had him cornered, he could ask.

    “Hey, Axel?”

    Lea’s mind clawed itself back to consciousness, and he grunted out, “Hmm?”

    “You know we’re all gonna be okay, right?”

    “Yeah. ‘Course we are.”

    “Then…what’s got you so worried, huh?”

    It took Lea a few moments to answer, then with a defeated sigh he said, “You pay too much attention.”

    “C’mon, Ax. Maybe I can help.” Roxas insisted, deciding he was awake enough he may as well open his eyes and engage a bit more in the conversation.

    He sat up a bit, propping himself up on Lea’s chest, and found that Lea was already watching him, green eyes flashing grey in the moonlight.

    “I wish you could but…it all depends on Isa.” His face pinched at the name.

    Isa…wasn’t that his childhood friend’s name? They’d talked about him that first night…right! Saïx—Isa was his somebody’s name. Saïx and Axel had a past Roxas had never noticed while in the Organization, contrary to Lea’s comment. He’d just thought they hated each other.

    “I meant to ask when we were talking about it yesterday, but—.” Roxas cut himself off, hesitating because his question made a lot of assumptions Lea might be upset about.

    Turned out Lea was more annoyed by his silence.

    “Hey you woke me up, don’t leave me hanging.”

    “Sorry.”

    “Come on Rox, _just tell me.”_   Lea insisted, poking at Roxas’ arm.

    Roxas took a breath then asked in a few halted phrases, “You and Saïx were best friends as kids, and I was thinking…the way you were talking about him, was there more to it than that?”

    Roxas stared down at his hands while he’d spoke, then he glanced up once at Lea before his eyes dodged away. He felt shy, nervous. He’d only ever asked Axel about love once, and back then Axel hadn’t bothered to give him a good answer. Now he’d asked about a specific person, a person they both knew and had vastly different relationships with. Would Lea worry that Roxas would be upset if he said yes? Roxas hadn’t thought of that, and it wasn’t why he’d asked. Hopefully he hadn’t crossed a line—.

    “Sorry, I know it’s probably—.”

    Roxas’ voice reminded Lea that now was not the time get lost in soured memories.

    “Yeah. We were, before becoming Nobodies.” Lea interrupted, reassuring his friend that all was well.

    Lea folded an arm behind his head and regarded Roxas with the look that meant he was trying to figure out what was going on in the blonde’s head. Roxas took pride that Axel had rarely succeeded—Lea was a bit more perceptive.

    “You can ask whatever you want to, I don’t mind talking about him.” Lea murmured.

    Roxas was wondering just how different Lea and Isa had been as kids, to have been close enough to fall in love. The realization of just how much Lea had lost because of Xehanort made Roxas’ heart hurt. But maybe there was hope for a better future—after all, Xion, Lea, and himself had found each other again, so why couldn’t Lea also find Isa?

    “You guys didn’t get along in the Organization, but what about now? When he’s back are you gonna…you know…get back together?” Roxas thought aloud.

    A sad smile that formed on Lea’s lips, and his eyes traced the ceiling as memories danced in his mind.

    “I let go of the idea years ago. Saïx only cared about pleasing Xemnas and stopped caring about me at all. I still love him, but…” Lea took a steadying breath, “I have to believe we can at least be _friends_ again, but I’m not sure it’ll be as easy as with you. I don’t even know if that’s what he’ll want, or if he’ll turn away from me like he should.”

    “What do you mean, _should_?”

    Roxas had never seen his best friend look so sad.

    “It was my fault we got in this mess in the first place. We’d just graduated high school, and I really wanted to get into Ansem’s castle—we weren’t allowed, because a, the guy was royalty, and b, there were _highly sensitive scientific experiments_ going on in there that the public wasn’t supposed to know about. I don’t even know how Isa and I found out they were happening, but I wanted to see them for myself.

“Long story short, we got in, got caught, and Xehanort killed us. Isa didn’t want to go, but I made him.”

    Roxas immediately disagreed, having to control his instinct to literally shake sense into Lea.

    “It’s _not_ your fault you’re in this mess, its Xehanort’s. He shouldn’t have been experimenting with the darkness in the first place, and we’re going to kill _him_ for it. And you’d better shape up, because Isa’s not going to want to hear any of that self-pity nonsense from you. He probably knew that going with you was dangerous but he did anyway, Axel, because he couldn’t let you go alone. He’s not going to blame you.”

    Lea blinked at him, like a moogle caught by a flashlight. “Rox…you really think so?”

    “Of course, dummy.”

    Lea smiled, teasing, “I think you believe in me a bit too much.”

    Roxas rolled his eyes. “You believe too little.”

    “Fair enough. Thanks, Roxas.”

    Roxas was glad his words had reached through to his idiot of a best friend. He laid back down, snuggling against Lea’s warmth. He didn’t voice the thought that ran through his head—he’d abandoned Axel, while Isa had never left his side. If Lea could forgive him for that without even having to talk about it, Roxas knew Lea’s worries were unfounded—they probably hadn’t even crossed Isa’s mind.

    “Roxas…do you remember Xion?”

    “Yeah, why?”

    “…I don’t. I _feel_ like I know her, I just can’t remember. She was in the Organization, I know that much.”

    Roxas’ gut twisted as he thought about Xion’s past. The two of them had yet to talk like he and Lea had, and Roxas felt a bit awkward around her. Xion was his best friend, too, but…he’d _killed_ her, whether he knew it had been her was no excuse. Maybe he understood Lea’s guilt…

    “She’s our best friend, too. She used to have ice cream with us on the tower.”

    “Ah, ok. I guess I can run with that.”

    “Maybe you’ll remember if you hang out with her some more.”

    “Hmm. Hope so.”

    They adjusted their position a little as Lea replaced his arm over Roxas’ shoulders.

    “Goodnight, Roxas.”

    “Night, Axel.”

    Roxas focused on the heartbeat beneath his ear to distract his thoughts, and finally fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> when are we gonna get back to lea's POV, you ask? you don't want to get back to lea's POV, i answer. 
> 
> also akuroku is my #1 brotp so i apologize that i can't control myself


	4. Chapter 4

    As with any good plan, nothing was going right. Xehanort had brought all his wild cards out to play, leaving the Guardians of Light to forgo their sneak attack and battle head-on instead. First they’d faced a massive army of dusks and heartless just to reach the Keyblade Graveyard. Once there, they’d found the entire New Organization waiting for them, lined on all sides by what Lea could only rationalize as demons. Aqua had a name for them, _darklings_ , which she’d gasped as they’d come into view. Black, soulless things, their yellow eyes were glassy and hollow, red-tipped fingers reminiscent of bloody claws. Strange, quiet wails erupted from the jagged, beaked mouths. The air felt cold.

    The ensuing battle was impossible. Try as they might, Lea soon found himself separated from Xion and Roxas, who had dedicated themselves to staying by his side but were swamped by darklings. For some time he fought beside Aqua, the two blending their prowess of flame and water into a mesmerizing display of deadly magic that made it easy to defeat Luxord. Then he lost her, only to find Kairi. They found themselves face to face with Larxene, both taking pleasure in defeating her for the twisted way she’d treated their Nobodies. But after Larxene fell to dust, more darklings swept Kairi away.

    Through breaks in the fray, Lea was able to catch far-off glimpses of Sora, Riku, and Mickey as they took on Xehanort and Xigbar. The past versions of Xehanort and Xemnas hovered on the edge of the fight, observing with that sickening expression of mild interest plastered on their faces. Lea hoped they would fade when Xehanort died. It would be rewarding, to say the least.

    As Lea watched through one such break, impressed by Mickey’s tactics, he failed to notice a form different from the darklings approaching him until it was too late, and he found himself face-first in the dirt.

    Springing to his feet, Lea retaliated. The fiery blade of his key struck solid metal, and he looked up from the familiar weapon to find Saïx as his adversary. Neither spoke, deciding it was best to carry on so that their actions looked unplanned in case anyone was watching.

    But as they fought, Lea grew more and more afraid of what he had to do. Nerves made his actions slow and shaky, and soon he found himself pinned against the cliff side, keyblade ripped from his hands. It skittered across the barren earth, disappearing a few feet away. Saïx held his lance to Lea’s throat, the crossed scars on his face exaggerating his scowl.

    “Lea.” Saïx’s voice was disappointed, as though Axel had just come back from a mission empty handed.

    “I’m sorry.” Lea panted, but it wasn’t enough.

    He was going to fail them.

    “ _Lea_ ,” Another voice chimed in, one he hadn’t heard in a very, very long time, “ _You have to help me!_ ”

    Images of another world, another time flashed behind closed lids. A boy with short blue hair, nose in a book, flowers braided into his hair by careful fingers. A boy with a blue turtle neck, gazing up at the stars with a head pillowed on his chest. A boy with blue eyes, placing a graduation cap on red hair and proclaiming their victory over the school system. A boy standing above blue water, daring Lea to be brave and jump.

    Lea had to be brave, for Isa.

    But then gold eyes flashed, and a sickening laugh erupted from beside them.

    “Naïve boys. Did you think it would be so easy to trick me, after all these years?”

    The bored, haughty cadence of Xemnas’ voice made Lea’s stomach twist into knots. He hated this monster for what he’d done to his best friend.

    “Go to hell.” Lea snarled, glaring daggers at that smug expression.

    Saïx kept quiet, eyes narrowed at Lea rather than acknowledging their intruder. Taking a risk, Lea tapped Saïx’s boot with his own. Maybe he could get the Nobody to read his mind. They could beat him together, this time. Xemnas had no power over them anymore.

    Xemnas laughed. “There are things far worse than hell. Perhaps one would be to die at the hand of your lover, or do you think that that is a kindness? After all, you were offering the same to him.”

    At that Saïx stepped back, placing enough distance between himself and Lea, appearing to judge at what distance his lance would slice clean through. As Xemnas continued to laugh, enjoying his continued torture over the two he’d forced into his Organization, Saïx lifted the blade to swing. Then he nodded at Lea.

    Twin circles of fire spun in the air, the silver sheen of metal solidifying in his hands. Since he’d been using his keyblade Lea had only summoned his chakrams a handful of times, but unlike the fire he’d never lost control of them. They were easier to summon, fueled by the anger, hurt, and sorrow in his heart, all feelings he had too much of.

    The deadly weapons rose to his aide, striking Xemnas in a flurry of dancing flames. Saïx’s lance sliced perfectly, adding to the damage. Then the Nobody that had commandeered their lives shattered as time reclaimed his nonexistence.

    Neither Saïx nor Lea noticed the brown-haired man left in his wake.

    Lea struck again, one last blow to end their suffering. Flames crackled in the air, there was a scream like the howl of a terrible wind, then a quiet fell over the desert. Across the battlefield the few remaining darklings conglomerated around Xehanort like a herd of sheep against lions. The keyblade wielders descended upon their enemy—all except one.

    The chakram that had impaled Saïx’s chest dissipated, leaving behind a burnt and gaping wound. Lea knelt before his childhood friend and cradled him in his arms, allowing Saïx to fall heavily against him as he began to fade into shreds of darkness. Showers of blue hair bunched up against his chest and the metallic tang of blood was thick in Lea’s lungs, choking him more than the smoke from his flames. His hands went to cover the wound, to heal it, to do _something._

    But Saïx lifted a hand and wrapped it tightly around Lea’s wrist before he could cast a spell that would ruin their plan. Their eyes met—sky blended with leaves, inseparable. Lea’s vision blurred. He‘d never been more thankful to have a heart again. He’d much rather feel this, even if it felt like his heart was being clawed apart, than be stuck in that cold, empty void of heartlessness where the death of his best friend wouldn’t have made him blink.

    “I’m sorry, Lea.” Isa whispered, his voice cracking and tears welling in his _blue_ eyes.

    “It’s okay,” Lea’s voice was a wreck of its own, his vision tunneled, “I love you, Isa. Got it memorized?”

    “Always.” They shared a faint smile.

    Then Saïx—no, Isa—closed his eyes.

    “I’ll find you.” Lea promised urgently, one last promise.

    “Not if I find you first.” Isa murmured playfully, hand loosening its grip.

    Then the Nobody was gone, body consumed by darkness. Lea drew his empty arms to his chest, curling in on himself as the reality of his loss hit him.


	5. Chapter 5

    They’d done it. As Xehanort lay dying at Aqua’s feet, Roxas’ doppelganger knelt beside the old man with a scowl on his face. Roxas and the others watched as the two used the man’s dying breaths to interrogate him about their lost friend. But Xehanort merely laughed at them until he couldn’t.

    Ven stood, pulling the tired and frazzled Aqua into a much-needed hug.

    “Sora? Sora wake up.” Kairi’s urgent voice broke through everyone’s shock.

    Before Roxas could see what had happened to his other, Riku, Mikey, Donald, and Goofy had crowded around, blocking him from view. Roxas could only hope he was okay, and beside him Xion voiced the same concern.

    Xion…suddenly, Roxas could remember everything about her. All the times they’d met on the tower for ice cream and talked, all the battles they’d fought together, and against each other. He remembered the sea shells, the stick, her running away, only for him and Axel to spend endless weeks searching for her…

    It was then that Roxas realized the absence of Lea.

    “Xion, where is he?”

    A three-sixty scope of the nearby area revealed nothing but clouds of dust. He could see through most of them, making it clear that Lea was nowhere nearby. That, or he was flat on his back behind some of these old, mangled keyblades. Roxas felt dizzy.

    “Who’re you—oh. I don’t see him.” Xion took Roxas’ hand in hers, “Let’s go find him.”

    Together they made their way across the battlefield, looking behind every key and checking every dip in the earth. They’d nearly walked to the cliff face, Roxas’ anxiety growing with each passing second. What would happen to him without Lea? Where would he go, what would he _do_? He couldn’t be dead, Roxas wouldn’t _let_ him. They’d only had a handful of days. Roxas wanted so many more.

    Finally, Xion caught sight of a scorch mark in the dirt. Roxas found another, and soon they were chasing fire sign through the keys. They came to a large dip that ran along the cliff side, and there they found him.

    Lea was braced against the cliff, his head bowed between his knees, bloody locks cascading down, hiding him from the world. The scent of ash was thick around him, black scars covering almost every inch of the ground and lower cliff face.

    As Xion and Roxas ran forward, down the short slope, they realized Lea was not alone. A stranger sat a few yards in front of Lea, knees similarly drawn up, but this man was watching Lea rather than hiding.

    “I’ll take care of him.” Xion whispered to Roxas so as not to alarm the stranger, “You get Axel.”

    They split off, Xion drawing her keyblade while Roxas jogged over to Lea. The man didn’t react to the sound of feet skidding to a halt beside him, nor did he move when Roxas put his hands on either shoulder. His frame was shaking, as if he were cold, but that wasn’t possible in this desert. Roxas felt shaky, too.

    “Axel?” He whispered, heart in his throat.

    What had happened to him?

    “We won,” Roxas decided to just start talking, and maybe his voice could pull Lea out of whatever this was, “Xehanort’s dead. Something happened to Sora, though. But everyone was crowding him so I couldn’t see. I hope he’s okay. I hope _you’re_ okay.”

    Okay, so maybe talking was kind of pointless. It was just making Roxas more worried. He moved his hands to where Lea’s arms where crossed over his knees and pulled a little, to see how much would give. Lea resisted, barley budging.

    “See, now I know you’re listening. Tricked ya.” Roxas tried to tease, but he couldn’t hide the worry in his voice.

    With a great sigh, Lea sat up and leaned against the rock. His face was streaked with tear tracks, and blood that wasn’t his was smeared on his cheeks. Green eyes were rimmed in red.

    “Hey, Rox.” Lea’s voice was croaky.

    “Hey.”

    They observed one another for a moment before Roxas began to literally drag Lea to him, awkwardly embracing the man with too-long of limbs. It didn’t help that they weren’t standing, but Roxas made do, and Lea folded himself closer to help.

    “ _Are_ you okay?” Roxas asked, even though he could see the answer.

    Lea shook his head against Roxas’ chest. “I killed him.”

    Immediately, Roxas knew what had happened. “No. You _saved_ him. He’s coming back, remember?”

    Lea’s clutch on Roxas’ shirt tightened. “What would I do without you, Roxas?”

    Too bad they knew the answer, or Roxas would’ve made some dumb joke to lighten the mood.

    “Roxas!” Xion’s voice pierced through their bubble, and Roxas craned his neck around to see that Xion was standing above the stranger, her keyblade nowhere in sight.

    He must not be a threat, then.

    “There’s no great way to explain this, but some guy is here. Xion’s keeping an eye on him.”

    Lea’s head snapped up, and he peered over Roxas’ shoulder at the other two. He unfolded himself and got to his feet, offering a hand to Roxas, then pulled him up. Roxas was elated to see that Lea didn’t seem outwardly damaged. He just had to remind himself that the blood smeared on Lea’s face and clothes wasn’t his.

    “I remember her now. Xion.” Lea murmured.

    “Maybe Xehanort’s death released your memories.” Roxas suggested, following his friend.

    “We found him when we found you,” Xion explained to Lea as they joined her, “Do you know him?”

    Lea shrugged. “Know _of_ him. You’re Terra, right?”

    All three sets of eyes trained on the stranger, who was gazing at his shoes. He seemed dazed, and Roxas wondered if he’d even be able to stand. Roxas had heard snippets of conversation about Terra over the past week since he and Xion had been brought back. Terra was a friend of Ven and Aqua’s, a guardian of light whose brute strength made him a formidable opponent. They’d said something about Xehanort having taken him. Roxas didn’t need the full details to see just how damaging Terra’s abduction had been to him. His very posture spoke of the horrors.

    “I am.” Terra muttered, as though he wished he were anyone else.

    Lea’s voice hardened, making Roxas glance up. Lea’s eyes were narrowed, distrust clear on his face.

    “How much do you remember?”

    Terra’s sorrowful expression spoke louder than his words, “Everything. His memories have become mine.”

    Whose memories?

    “Well, I don’t like the sound of that.” Lea grumbled, then sat cross-legged in front of Terra.

    Terra looked up at him, complacent acceptance in his voice as he asked, “What are you going to do to me?”

    “Gee, I just don’t know…”

    Roxas had to roll his eyes at Lea’s antics. He’d put a hand to his head to exaggerate thought, shaking his head while he was at it. That was one thing Roxas had found about Lea that hadn’t changed—he still had Axel’s knack for theatrics.

    “I think I’ll send Xion and Roxas to get backup.” Lea shrugged anticlimactically.

    Over Lea’s head, the two shared a look. Xion tilted her head in the direction of the others, but Roxas shook his head—he would stay with Lea. Xion nodded, then with assurances she’d be back soon, took off running.

    Lea glanced up at Roxas, then refocused on Terra. Roxas decided to sit next to Lea, not willing to stand for how long he knew it would take Xion to come back.

    There was a tense few minutes where Terra returned his dazed staring to his shoes, Lea scrutinized Terra, and Roxas had to fight with himself not to draw Lea back into a hug and mess up his already messy mane for making him worry. Plus, he didn’t look any less shaken and distraught than when Roxas had found him.

    Then Lea leaned his shoulder against Roxas’, a tired sigh leaving him.

    “How’s everyone else? You said something about Sora?”

    “Battle worn, but alive. And yeah, something happened to Sora. I couldn’t see, but Kairi sounded worried…and then we came to find you.”

    Lea frowned. “That kid…he’ll be fine. He always is.”

    “Yeah…” Roxas wasn’t too sure, but he didn’t want to think about any alternatives.

    “If Sora dies because of me—.” Terra muttered.

    Lea’s demeanor hardened again as he cut off Terra’s words. Why didn’t he like this guy, if he was a victim like the rest of them?

    “No one’s dying because of you. It’s not your fault we’re in this mess, its Xehanort’s. And we killed him for it. You’d better shape up, because Aqua’s not going to want to hear any of that self-pity nonsense from you.” Lea snapped, words echoing some of which Roxas had told him just a few nights before. 

    Roxas decided he was tired of not knowing more about who Terra was.

    “Why would Sora die because of you? What happened?”

    “Rox I think—.” Lea began to caution, but Terra interrupted.

    “He deserves to know.” Terra took a deep breath, then his sorrow was directed at Roxas, “I was Aqua and Ventus’ friend, a long time ago. We were training to become keyblade masters, but then Master Xehanort came and convinced me to use darkness in battle. I gave in, and he possessed my body to stay immortal.

“Then he went to learn as much as he could about the darkness from Ansem the Wise. He…killed Ansem, then took over the research lab to create more heartless. He was experimenting on Lauriam when he finally got what he wanted. There was something about Lauriam’s power that allowed him to unlock the door to darkness—later he figured out that it was the power of the keyblade. Radiant Garden was the first world to be consumed, and from there he created the organization to make a Kingdom Hearts which he could bend to his own will…and you know the rest.”

    Terra’s story filled in some of the holes that Roxas had yet to understand about the mess he had been created in—Lea’s explanation had been one-sided, after all. But it didn’t make him dislike Terra, the way Lea seemed to, nor did it help him understand how Sora’s potential wounding—Roxas hoped it wasn’t serious, because no one would handle it well if it was—could possibly be Terra’s fault. Why were these two so obsessed with blaming themselves for things out of their control?

    “So what you’re saying is that it wasn’t you who did any of it. It’s all still been Xehanort.” Roxas reiterated, adding under his breath only for Lea’s ears, “Sounds like someone else I know.”

    Terra let his head fall between his knees. “Tell me how to face her, after everything. Even if it’s not my fault.”

    Roxas thought about it, for a moment, regardless if Terra’s question was directed at him or not. What would he do, if he felt bone-deep remorse for something he’d done? He had some regrets—abandoning Axel to the Organization was one, but Lea had welcomed him back with open arms and an easy smile. Roxas knew Aqua would do the same for Terra. That’s how it went with love—it didn’t matter how long ago they had left, or under what circumstances, they would always be welcomed back. Isa would forgive Lea, too. Roxas _knew_ it.

    “That’s easy—Aqua will accept you because she loves you.”

    Both pairs of eyes focused on him.

    “Is it enough?” Terra asked.

    Roxas looked at Lea while he answered, pleased to find hope behind those red-rimmed eyes.

    “Yeah, it always is.”

    Isa’s blood created a garish outline to the miniature smile that brushed Lea’s lips. Roxas wished he had some water to wash it away before Lea could see it and remind himself of what had happened.

    “Terra!” Two voices hollered, and the trio looked up over the small ridge of the crater to see a handful of people running toward them.

    Aqua got to them first, arms wrapping around his shoulders and head smushed against his as she bear-hugged him. Ven came next, worming his way into the hug. Then, Xion stood above her two friends, all watching the scene with warmth in their hearts.

    “How’s Sora?” Roxas asked.

    Xion’s face fell, and she looked up toward the sky.

    “They took him back to the tower…he’s…not good, Roxas.”

    “What do you mean, ‘not good’?” Lea spoke up, brow furrowed with concern.

    Xion visibly trembled, and within a matter of seconds both men were on their feet to comfort her.

    “He...I didn’t see him, but Ven said his leg was broken. But there was so much blood on the ground…I don’t think that was all.” Her voice shook.

    Roxas’ stomach twisted. “We need to get back.”

    “Aqua is going to take us. Everyone else left.”

    “He’s going to be okay. Donald and Mickey are great healers.” Lea reassured them both, but the look in his eyes didn’t have the same message.

    The other trio had also gotten to their feet, and Aqua turned to them with teary eyes. With a nod to Lea, she opened a light portal, and they filed through. Roxas took one last look at the desolate battleground, and hoped it would never see violence again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as of 10/25 this is updated to where i'm at with my word doc (or is it, muahahaha). i'm trying my best to prevent continuity errors because i'm writing the chapters out of order, so if i missed something please please let me know!   
> i hope you all are enjoying this story as much as i am. i didn't realize how much of a multi-ship fic this was going to turn into, and i promise it's only gonna get worse from here ;)


	6. Chapter 6

    Time unraveled. Pain in his mind. His memories, his heart, dying and shredding and breaking…

    Falling. Through night, through memories like film reels. Voices clamoring like the background chatter of a metropolis. So many lost names, blended individuality, faceless forms. Memories folded into colorless butterflies, butterflies swarmed, consumed his flesh and bone. He was bare.

    He was all, and he was nothing.

    _Isa?_

    A comforting voice resounded in his mind, focusing the chaotic rush of images and words and faces. Pictures of a young, green-eyed boy, with the echoes of a changing voice, blurred scenery, wisps of red hair, tinkling laughter.

    The butterflies lifted him toward those memories, memories which became full of detail. He could see creamy skin, dotted with stars. He could feel the air brush his hair from his face, could feel the grass tickling his arms. Could feel the warmth of someone else.

_Come back to me, Isa. Why did you leave? Where did you go? Don’t you know I’ve been looking for you? Come home._

That voice comforted him. Made him feel safe, warm. He wanted to call out to it, to ask it to remind him where home was, and where he could find it. The butterflies swarmed again, the rustle of their wings overloading his senses until he could hear the voice no more.

   He kicked, swung, snarled as he tried to get the butterflies to go away. Their wings cut like paper, their eyes shone with death. He would not let them take any more from him.

    He needed to find the voice. The voice that belonged to home. To _him_.

   The night became light, yanking him out of the endless loop and setting him free. The butterflies fell away like rain—a yellow eye was left in their wake. It blinked once, twice, then closed, plunging him into emptiness.

    Then…

    Silence. Warmth. Someone was holding him, he could feel his face pressed against heated cloth. His lungs heaved for air, and his body was shaking. He felt exhausted, as though every ounce of energy had been drained from him, and his head felt moments from floating away. He was so disoriented, it took him a long while before he could figure out that he could feel his body again. He focused on leveling his breathing, an easy task that would continue to ground him.

    The person holding him was speaking, words his brain slowly began to process. He recognized that voice as the one that was home, but it was different, soft and crackly rather than smooth and boisterous. What was wrong?

    “I don’t know, he just sorta…popped into my room.”

    Another voice, lighter and unknown, saying things he couldn’t distinguish.

    “Yeah, sorry. I’ll _try_ not to scream next time I wake up at two am to see someone collapsed on my floor.”

    His breathing was even enough that his brain was waking, regaining control over his limbs once again. He still felt devoid of energy, so he decided to try something simple. He flexed his fists, stiff the first few times, but soon he was able to clench and unclench his fingers with ease.

    Whoever was holding him realized what he was doing.

    “Isa? Are you awake?” The voice that was home asked.

    He couldn’t respond—he hadn’t even opened his eyes yet. He supposed that might be a bad idea, considering how dizzy he was.

    “Hey, Kairi, on second thought bring me a curaga.”

    A door closed nearby.

    “Isa. It’s just us. I um…don’t know how conscious you are? Kairi went to get a curing spell, then we’ll probably set you up on my bed and let you rest. Don’t feel like you have to say anything, I know just how tired you are…” A soft breath, a laugh, “But yeah…you’re gonna be okay. You’re home.”

    He flexed his fingers, feeling what was closest to his hand. Fabric, thin, textured…pajamas? Probably, based on what the person had said. To show that he was present, he let his fingers gather the material in his grip. He received another breathy laugh in response.

    That voice…his home… _who_ was it? His mind spun around the question in the silence, trying and failing to bring any image to mind other than the boy with red hair and green eyes, the freckles and the contagious smile…It had to be that boy, or why else would he remember such a specific person?

    One of the arms around his back moved, then fingers began combing gently through his hair. He wondered how long the locks of red had become since the time encapsulated in the forefront of his mind. It occurred to him that he should know this, that his lack of memory wasn’t a good sign. But the person was right, he was tired. Perhaps rest would bring back everything he was supposed to know.

    A door opened.

    The lighter voice had returned.

    “Thanks, Kai. You’re the best.”

    A tinkling laugh.

    “Yeah, yeah. I’m gonna give this to him, then will you help me get him up on the bed?”

    A quiet reply.

    “No, he needs to stay with Sora.”

    He felt a hand under his chin, tilting his head back, then something pressed against his lips.

    “Isa, I need you to drink this. Please, try.”

    He opened his mouth and cold, viscous liquid began to pour down his throat. Slowly, in small bits, enough so that he had an easier time than expected swallowing it all. Then the container was removed, and his head was released. He rested against the warm chest again, nestling closer to counteract the cold liquid. A tingling sensation began running through his body, like the liquid were trying to seep into every cell. It was pleasant.

    “Alright, let’s get him up.”

    His head began to spin immediately, gravity using all of its might to make him miserable as he was lifted by the underarms, then unceremoniously set onto something cold and soft. His legs were lifted and put in place, then all physical contact disappeared. His head pounded, the tingling had yet to stop, and his thoughts began to race.

    He needed that warmth back. He couldn’t lose it, not again. He _had_ to have it.

    “I still think we should’ve got Riku.” The unfamiliar voice said.

    “Yeah, okay. You were right.” Home replied.

    He tried to move his arm, to reach for the person who had abandoned him. At first, he could only move it a few inches because it was too heavy. His face scrunched up with frustration. He continued to try as the voices continued to talk.

    “Need anything else?”

    “Nah, I got it from here.”

    “Okay. And, Lea?”

    “Hmm?”

    “I didn’t tell them he’s here. He needs to heal and…I don’t think the others will react well. He hasn’t exactly been helpful.”

    Silence. He’d managed to get his arm to move to the side, catching some of the soft, cold cloth in his fingers. Blanket. That’s what the cloth was, because the person had said _bed_ , and beds had blankets.

    “Okay. Thanks.” The voice was tight—worried, hostile.

    “Good night.”

    The door closed.

    “You moved.” His home observed.

    He tried to get his arm to move vertically, and for a moment held it up, but then had to let it fall. His face scrunched again.

    “What’s wrong?”

    He kept his face scrunched, and moved his fingers to indicate the voice to come closer. The person approached quickly, and he felt a weight being removed from his body, then his feet.

    There was rustling, then a light weight fell across his body, up to his shoulders. Another blanket? That wasn’t what he wanted, but it alleviated some of his distress. At least the throbbing in his skull had eased. The pleasant tingling continued. Did it have a purpose?

    With maximum effort, he removed his arm from under the blanket, lifted it toward the last direction he’d heard the voice, and gestured again. Then his arm fell on his chest.

    “I…guess I’ll stay. Not sure if that’s what you’re trying to say, but it can’t hurt.”

    He was amazed at how smart his home was, to have understood such a pathetic and vague gesture.

    The bed underneath him dipped, then he felt warmth return on his right side as the person laid beside him. He wished his body had enough energy so he could curl against their heat and absorb it all.

    “You can sleep now, Isa. I’ll be here if you need me.” The voice became soft and crackly again.

    Isa…what did that mean?

    The world got a little darker, behind his eyelids, and the person beside him sighed.

    “Good night, Isa.”

    It was a short few minutes before he felt himself slipping away, unable to stop sleep from overtaking him.


	7. Chapter 7

     A rotund, bouncing ball of blue led Sora through the sleeping city, stars dotting the night sky. The only other light was the soft orange glow of the oil lamps lining the cobblestone street. The meow wow would turn around and squeal at him every few minutes to make sure he was following, it’s eyes squeezing shut with joy. Sora had grown attached to this creature during their adventures together, and trusted it implicitly. He kept reassuring his friend that he wouldn’t stop following, but Blueberry continued not to believe him.

    They followed the path to the woods, where only the light of the heart-shaped moon could guide them.

    It was here that Sora hesitated. “Blueberry, where are we going?”

    His friend bounced back to him, circling his feet and trilling.

    _“Sora?”_ An echoing female voice called out from the trees.

    Sora didn’t know that voice. “Who’s there?”

    _“Sora you have to go! Wake up!”_ The voice called out again.

    The voice sounded distressed. Sora felt his insatiable need to help people rise and groaned inwardly. If this turned into a rescue mission he’d never hear the end of it.

    “Are you okay? What’s your name?”

    “ _Go back to the light!”_ The voice commanded, ignoring him.

    Sora stepped toward the forest, Blueberry bouncing a few feet ahead.

    “Sora.”

    He felt his heart stop, then whirled in circles to find the new voice.

    “Riku?!”

    _“Sora go!”_

    “What are you dreaming about?”

    “Riku!?”

    Sora turned back to Blueberry, to ask it what to do—but the meow wow was not Blueberry. It was a nightmare meow wow, black and purple instead of blue. That answered his question. Sora backed away, back toward the cobblestone town.

    “I need you to wake up, Sora. I need you to come back.”

    “I’m coming Riku!” Sora yelled at the dark forest.

    A flash of yellow eyes just beyond the nightmare caught Sora’s eye just as he turned around.

    _“You can’t run far.”_ A man’s voice said, one that sounded freakishly like his own.

    Sora ran back along the path, then felt his body shift against something soft. The town disappeared, and Sora found himself squinting up at the yellow-green ceiling of the infirmary in Yen Sid’s tower. He blinked hard at the jarring shift of surroundings. It was night time here, too, and the light of a regular moon shone through the window.

    He felt funny, his mind fuzzy as the dream gave way to reality. His stomach was tingling like a curaga had been applied to it, and he couldn’t move his left leg because it was pricking with pins and needles. He hated moving any limb in such a state. His arms ached, and his head began to spin the longer he had his eyes open. Sora squeezed them shut. The spinning went away.

    Why was he here? Hadn’t he been fighting Xehanort in the Keyblade Graveyard? Or had that been a dream, too? The last thing he remembered was that after they’d gotten Xehanort surrounded was a flash of blinding light.

    Then he became aware of a hand on his stomach, the touch masked by the curing spell. He popped an eye open to see a fingerless-gloved hand pressed against his bare skin, liquidly green light emitting from it.

    He knew that hand.

    “Riku?” He asked, voice cracking with disuse.

    Very suddenly, Riku’s face was hovering above his, other hand pressed against his forehead, then his cheek, then his shoulder. Teal green eyes searched, watery and taught with lack of sleep. Sora was pleased the spinning didn’t come back—he didn’t want to stop looking at that face.

    “How’re you feeling?” Riku asked, his own voice cracking.

    Not from disuse—Riku had been crying.

    “Not great. Are you hurt?”

    It scared him that he couldn’t remember the end of the battle. Had everyone made it out alive? Where was Kairi?

    “No, I’m okay. Better now that you’re awake.” Riku’s lips quirked into a smile, hand brushing through Sora’s hair.

    The sensation felt just as comforting as the curaga. Which reminded him…

    “What happened?”

    Riku’s smile faded. “Your leg is broken. Then…Xehanort’s keyblade hit your stomach, right before we killed him. Kairi was next to you so she…” Riku took a breath, closing his eyes for a moment, “She saved you.”

    Had he almost _died_? The idea was beyond his comprehension—death wasn’t something that could happen to him, right? Sora found the energy to brush his own hand through Riku’s hair, cupping his cheek and reveling at the feeling of such soft skin for just a moment. It was comforting to both of them.

    A fresh tear seeped into Sora’s thumb.

    “I guess I owe her, huh?”

    Riku chuckled. “Owing Kairi favours is dangerous.”

    Both men knew that from experience.

    “Is everyone else okay?”

    “Yeah, mostly. Nothing as bad as you. We even managed to rescue Terra, too.”

    “Terra? Is he okay?”

    Riku shrugged, glancing over Sora’s head where other beds were located. Sora followed his gaze, and saw someone sleeping there with their back turned to them. Sora couldn’t wait to meet Terra, after having heard so much about him from Aqua.

    “As much as he can be after being possessed for so long.”

    A wave of relief washed over Sora as the realization that they’d truly _won_ the war against Xehanort began to sink in. They’d done it! Everyone was safe, and home, and could live happily ever after. Well, there would always be darkness to fight, but that was just a part of the life of a light guardian, which Sora would never give up. He let his hand fall because the effort to keep it up was beginning to tire him, and he wasn’t ready to go back to sleep.

    Which reminded him to ask another important question, “How long have I been asleep?”

    Riku’s hand froze in his hair, just for a second, which was long enough for Sora to begin to worry.

    “Riku…” He prompted when Riku turned away, trying to hide like he would have if his hair was long enough to curtain his face.

    Sora was again pleased he and Kairi had convinced Riku to cut his hair.

    “Two weeks.”

    “Two weeks!”

    Sora couldn’t believe it. He hadn’t eaten, seen the sun, touched Riku, arm wrestled Kairi, yelled at Donald, nearly crashed the gummy ship in _two weeks_!?

    “Yen Sid was using powerful cure magic to keep you under and heal you. You…Sora you were in really bad shape.”

    “Like…guts spilling out bad?” He asked, even though the mental image was disgusting.

    Riku looked like he’d bitten a lemon. “Kinda.”

    “Ew.”

    “Yeah.”

    They shared a grimace. Sora looked down at where Riku was healing him. That must be where the wound was, right above his navel. He hoped he’d at least get a cool scar from it.

    Riku followed his gaze, explaining as though reading Sora’s mind, “It’s almost healed. We’ve been taking shifts to keep it up. Probably going to scar a bit, though.”

    “We?”

    “Kairi, Roxas, and Xion have all been helping. Lea sucks at curing or he would have, too. Aqua and Ven have been helping Terra recover, but they’ve stopped by to check on you. Mickey, Donald, and Goofy have, too. But they’re busy, so I’ve only seen them once since the battle.”

    “Huh.” Sora felt so lucky to have so many friends—to have such a large _family_ —to worry about him.

    Just then, the door of the infirmary creaked open and bouncing red hair entered, heading for the medicine cabinet.

    “Kairi!” Sora called out, his voice croaking from the strain on his vocal chords.

    “Ah! Sora’s awake!” She redirected herself over to his beside, standing next to Riku and peering down at Sora.

    “He just woke up a few minutes ago.” Riku explained.

    Something akin to scientific discovery flashed across Kairi’s face, then she beamed.

    “Good. We missed you, Sora.” Kairi dropped a kiss on Sora’s forehead, then with a wink went over to the medicine cabinet.

    “Kai, why are you up so early?” Riku asked, turning in his chair—yes, Sora had literally _just_ noticed the chair, he was laying down, ok?—so he could watch her.

    Kairi hummed, as though she hadn’t heard him, and pulled two curaga bottles from the shelf.

    “It’s nearly three a.m.” Riku insisted, one to never enjoy being ignored.

    “No rest for the wicked.” Kairi shrugged, then with one last kiss to Sora’s forehead she left.

    The pair stared after her, bewildered. Then Sora caught on, at least a little.

    “It’s three a.m.? Why are _you_ awake?”

    “I told you, we take shifts.”

    “Yeah but—.”

    A finger placed against his lips, shushing him. “It’s okay, Sora. I want to be here.”

    Sora almost let it go. But then he got a better idea.

    “This bed’s big enough for two of us.”

    Riku shook his head. “No. No way. I’m not risking hurting you just—.”

    “I’ll make Roxas cuddle with me if you don’t.” Sora insisted, making sure to give Riku his trademark pout.

    Both of them knew Sora was kidding—Roxas was not the cuddling type.

    “I’d like to see you try.” Riku laughed, but he gave in.

    With delicate movements, Riku shuffled Sora more to the side to make room, then lied on his side with his hand firmly replaced over Sora’s wound. Riku tucked his head under Sora’s chin, his legs angled away from Sora’s to prevent knocking against the broken one, which still had pins and needles running through it.

    Sora let his eyes close, unhappy about how tired he was. He didn’t want to leave Riku again, even if it was for a few hours to let his body rest more. Riku seemed to sense this, because he entwined his free hand with Sora’s closest and pulled it up to his lips to kiss his knuckles.

    “I love you, Sora.”

    “Love you, Riku. Sorry I was gone so long.”

    “Shut up, Sora.” Riku chuckled, this time placing a kiss on Sora’s lips.

    Sora let his eyes flutter closed then instantly regretted it. Without the light or Riku’s face, his body began to turn off, begging his mind to go to sleep. When Riku moved away to nestle close, Sora didn’t bother to open his eyes, instead focusing on the warmth of his best friend to lull him to sleep.

    Sora would have been mad to know just how quickly he’d gone back under.


	8. Chapter 8

       Lea woke to find a weight on his chest, heavier than what he’d become used to over the last month. Soft breathing indicated his guest was still asleep. Lea opened his eyes, squinting against the grey morning light filtering through his window. How early was it? He had been hoping to sleep late this morning, but he was far too awake to achieve that now.

    The person who was too heavy to be Roxas shifted, and Lea looked down.

    Blue hair.

    Wait a second.

    Memories of just a few hours ago, blurry from half-conscious nerve coding, raced through his mind. _Isa_ had appeared in his room, collapsed on his floor, and was now asleep in his bed. He’d woken up Kairi in his panic, and she’d brought him a curaga for Isa which had helped knock him out.

    How could he have forgotten?

    And what was he supposed to _do_ about it? He didn’t want to move and disrupt Isa because sending him into a panic during the day, when everyone else was up, was going to bring Isa the exact attention Lea knew he wouldn’t want. But he couldn’t stay here until Isa woke because that could be _days_ from now.

    Wait, why was he in such a hurry to move anyway? He should want to stay curled up with his best friend. Having to pee as soon as he woke up certainly had something to do with it, but the growing tightness in his chest was another driving force.

    Lea took a series of deep breaths, focusing his mind and letting the stream of fearful thoughts float away. It would work out, step by step, moment by moment. Lea could handle whatever hardship he had to, because _Isa was alive._

    But he still had to pee. So, he slowly, carefully inched Isa onto the mattress, freeing himself so he could escape to the bathroom. He planned to be quick, just in and out. But then he ran into Xion on the return trip.

    “Lea!” Her voice froze him in his tracks, and he looked down the hall to see her skipping over to him.

    “You’re never up this early.” Xion greeted, snaking her arms around his waist for a brief bear-hug.

    Axel had always wondered why Xion could hug so powerfully, but now that Lea could connect the dots he knew exactly why—Kairi’s hugs were bone crushing.

    “Heh, yeah. Had a rough night last night.” Lea shrugged, pretending that he’d just had nightmares.

    Xion of all people was going to have the hardest time adjusting to Isa. Lea had been impressed with Roxas’ acceptance, perhaps because Roxas had remnants of Ventus’ impressions of Isa, but he expected no such thing from Xion. Saïx had treated her horribly.

    “Well, Sora woke up last night! Kairi told me just a few minutes ago. We’re going to have pancakes this morning to celebrate. Come on, maybe they’ll make your day better.” Xion’s smile was irrefutable, particularly with Lea’s added guilt.

    Except, Lea had a very good reason to refute her. A reason that was passed out in his room, could wake at any moment, and cause a whole lot of mayhem.

    “I’ll meet you down there in a few, I’ve gotta…clean up.”

    Xion frowned, but nodded. “Okay. I’ll make sure to save you plenty.”

    “Thanks, kiddo.” Lea made sure to give her a smile before retreating.

    With the door closed behind him, Lea leaned against it and stared at the problem on his bed. At least Kairi knew Isa was here, so he’d have help there. And he would tell Roxas as soon as he came back from visiting his friends in Twilight Town.

    But for now…

    Lea’s stomach growled.

    He picked up his phone from his desk and asked Kairi if she could bring him breakfast.

    The phone buzzed as soon as he set it down.

    She promised she would tell the others he was sick. Lea was glad she’d become his friend.

    While he waited for her, he sat on the edge of the desk and regarded Isa once again. There was still some glowing green radiating from the bits of skin Lea could see, indicating that the curaga spell was still at work. Whatever internal trauma Isa had experienced from possession would take a long time to fix. It had been two weeks, yet Terra could still only walk around for an hour a day. Granted, he’d been possessed much longer than Isa, but it made Lea worry. Would Isa even accept his help, as Terra had Aqua’s? Their circumstances were so different. Saïx had hated him, by the end…and Axel hadn’t exactly been an innocent party.

    A soft knock on his door drew Lea to it, and he let Kairi in. She plopped a steaming stack of pancakes on his desk, with a mug of syrup since she didn’t know how much he preferred to add, and a glass of orange juice.

    “How is he?” She asked, keeping her voice quiet.

    “Still healing.”

    Kairi frowned. “It’d be better if he were downstairs but…I brought another curaga, anyway.”

    She pulled the vial from her dress’ pocket and handed it to Lea. He set it beside the pancakes. Once Isa’s skin stopped glowing, he’d let him wake enough to ask him if he wanted the next dose. Who knew when that would be, though. He sighed, tired at just the thought of having to wait for Isa to finally wake up.

    “What are you gonna do when he wakes up?” Kairi always was a mind reader.

    “Explain what happened…hope that he doesn’t hate me.”

    “Roxas seems pretty sure you’ll be fine.”

    Lea chuckled. “Have you two been gossiping about me?”

    Kairi pretended to look innocent and they both laughed. Kairi ordered him to tell her as soon as he needed anything, then left to go find the others and reassure them that Lea was on the mend. It didn’t feel like a complete lie. Isa was alive, and Lea could already feel his shattered heart sewing itself back together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey look it's chapter VIII
> 
> i'm probably going to do a wayfinder chapter next? so there's that to look forward to! i hope y'all are still enjoying this, and are as hyped about kh3 as i am!


	9. Chapter 9

    Breakfast was quiet without Lea’s and Roxas’ squabbling on top of Riku’s and Kairi’s. As he picked apart his pancakes, Ven wondered when Terra would finally be able to join them. Then he wouldn’t have to eat breakfast by himself, with a bunch of strangers he was learning to call friends.

    He understood why Aqua was prioritizing Terra over him. Really, it wasn’t _over_ him. Ven cared about Terra, too, and since he and Aqua needed some alone time, Ven was happy to give it to them. As it was, Sora was still in the infirmary with them, so they weren’t truly alone. But still…he felt lonely and he didn’t like it.

    Ven knew he wasn’t the only one. Xion never seemed comfortable without at least one of her best friends with her. She sat to Ven’s left now, picking at her pancakes and listening to Kairi argue with Riku over giving Lea a second potion with a frown on her face. Ven wondered why Lea had gotten so suddenly sick, when he’d been healthy yesterday. It wasn’t possible to get food poisoning here…

    Ven poked Xion’s foot with his own. “We should go somewhere together. Get out of here for a while.”

    Xion started, but nodded with a small smile. “Okay. That sounds fun.”

    The two finished their pancakes, then left just as Kairi was returning from checking on Lea. Xion looked like she wanted to ask, but cut herself off and followed Ven out to the gummy dock. They picked a small ship, and after having to listen to Chip and Dale lecture about safety, were on their way. Ven knew exactly where they could go to brighten up their spirits, so he drove while Xion manned the guns for heartless ships.

    Except, there weren’t any. The space between worlds was eerily empty.

    At least Disney Town hadn’t changed much. Queen Minnie was thrilled to see them and showed them some new games she and Daisy had created in celebration of the victory over Darkness. Ven and Xion ended up in giggle fits more than once, covered in paint from some of the games, and fruit from some others. The tea cups made them unbearably dizzy, so they’d laid on the grass, covered their eyes with their arms, and ate ice cream. By the end of the day, neither had a trace of loneliness left. It felt wonderful.

        Not much had changed when they arrived just in time for dinner. Sora was at the table, leaning heavily against Riku but eating as though he hadn’t in years. Otherwise, Lea had spent the day in his room, and Aqua had taken Terra for his daily walk around the world. Ven could tell Riku and Kairi were jealous as Xion described the day they’d had. Sora, always the optimist, begged Ven to take him the next time.

    It was an easy promise.

    After dinner, Ven left the others to visit Terra. The lights were off in the infirmary, only the green and blue glow of the medicine cabinet providing him with vision. He made out the shape of Aqua asleep in her chair, head resting on Terra’s shoulder. Terra was sitting up next to her, his back against the wall and a hand combing through her hair. He smiled as he caught sight of Ven.

    “Hey.”

    “Hey.”

    Ven walked over and stood above them, not bothering to grab a chair. He already knew this was going to be a short visit. His always were.

    “How are you, Ven? I don’t see you enough.” Terra actually looked sad.

    But Ven wasn’t making up the rift between them…was he?

    “I took Xion to Disney Town today.” Ven said instead of answering the question.

    “Did you have fun?”

    Ven smiled his biggest and brightest. “Yeah, she was really happy, too. We both needed to get away.”

    Terra smiled, just a bit. “Good. I wish I could go, too. Sitting around here is getting torturous, you know? We both finally have our bodies back, but not being able to go anywhere feels like I may as well still be trapped…”

    He shook his head, “Ah, ignore me, Ven. Sorry.”

    “No, I feel that way, too. Maybe we can convince Aqua to at least go somewhere else, even if we can’t explore.”

    They shook on it.

    “Thanks, Ven.”

    Ven gave Terra a salute. “Always.”

    He said goodnight and headed for his room, feeling significantly better. Today had been a good day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll develop them more...I realized I'm very out of practice with their characters, so it'll take me some time to write them well.   
> I'm having too much fun making everyone friends.


	10. Chapter 10

    Lea was reading a book in the afternoon when it finally happened. It had barely been two days since Isa showed up in his room—Roxas was still in Twilight Town, Xion and Ventus had gone on another adventure to find a place safe to take Terra, who had spent the day as he always did with Aqua.

    The book itself was fairly boring, compared to his real life. A romance between two nobles, at first an arranged marriage with an awkward adjustment period, which blossomed into a beautiful love by the end. It was short, sweet, and kept Lea’s mind occupied on something other than the person occupying his bed. Well. He may have been imagining the Prince with blue hair, and the Lady with red…

    The stirring of bedsheets alerted him, and he looked up in a bit of a daze from the book to find Isa watching him. And it _was_ Isa. Blue eyes squinting as he made out his surroundings, Xehanort’s X erased from that beautiful, narrow face. Without seeing them, Lea knew the curves of his ears would no longer point.

    He was far more conscious than Lea had expected him to be, and without a trace of aggression. In fact, Isa seemed calm, as though he’d woken up in this room every morning of his life.

    “What are you doing?” Isa asked, voice quiet, _curious_.

    Lea smiled. Rather than answering he held the book up for a moment, title facing Isa, before setting it down and turning his chair to face his friend.

    “Romance?” Isa’s voice was judgmental.

    Not cold, not disappointed, just…playful teasing. Like he couldn’t believe how much of a dork Lea was to be reading romance novels at twenty-seven years of age.

    Lea had to fight to keep himself in the chair. He didn’t trust his voice with his throat suddenly so dry, and so when he said, _“Why not?”_ the cracking and stuffy qualities didn’t come as a surprise.

    Isa’s lips seemed to twitch, as if he were trying to smile. But it couldn’t form. Not yet.

    “Where am I?”

    This time, Lea’s voice found its footing. “Yen Sid’s world. It’s small, just this castle and training grounds. Yen Sid is a keyblade master. He taught King Mickey, and Kairi…and me. This place is sort of headquarters for us Light Guardians.”

    Isa nodded then looked down at his lap, where his hands were clasped tight. “I take it…the others aren’t happy I’m here.”

    Lea bit his lip, and shook his head. He chose, in that moment, to be honest with Isa about _everything_ going forward. There would be no secrets between them anymore.

    “Well…only Kairi knows, actually.”

    “Kairi…why just her?”

    “I woke her up when you got here, so she came to see if I was okay. She hasn’t told the others, either, but she’s been bringing potions for you. Speaking of which—how’s the headache?”

    “I appreciate that you have the lights off.” Was Isa’s sarcastic response.

    The smile was attempted again, this time a bit more successfully.

    Lea chuckled. “Thought so.”

    “Will you tell them? Or are you using that book as a disguise to sneak me out?”

    Oh, how he’d missed the teasing.

    “I’ll tell, I just have to figure out _how_. Especially with Xion.”

    Any sign of further teasing disappeared. “Xion is here?”

    Lea nodded, running his hands through his hair and playing with the strands at the back of his neck. “She’ll know you’re not the same, but it’ll probably take the longest for her to…adjust.”

    Isa still looked disheartened. Lea couldn’t allow that.

    “Don’t worry, though. Sora will be happy to see you, and I think Roxas wants to play nice.”

    “How is he—and Xion—how are they alive?”

    “They remained in Sora’s heart when they returned to him. When Ven was rescued, Sora met with both of them, too. They came up with some method to get out—I really didn’t get it when they explained it, but…they were rescued, just a few days before the battle.”

    They each fell silent for a moment, regarding one another while considering that fateful day. Though he hid it, Lea was still traumatized from having his best friend’s visage die in his arms. But his excitement at having Isa _here and alive_ began to rise, staving off any qualms he had about Isa being upset with him. And Isa…Isa was feeling a bit too much, all at once—some mix of gratitude, love, awe, confusion, and fear.

    “I need a mirror.”

    Lea had expected all sorts of sentences but that was not one, and so his ears didn’t catch it well.

    “What?”

    “Your room doesn’t have a mirror.” Isa repeated.

    “Oh. Hold on.”

    Lea was pleased that Isa had recognized the room as his, though there wasn’t much to show for it other than the retrieved box of books, pile of dirty clothes, and slightly ripped up Frisbees. He really needed a poster or something, like Sora.

    He pulled out his phone and texted Kairi.

    _I need you to bring a mirror, a hand one or something small._

_Oh, and Isa’s awake._

    “What _is_ that device?” Isa asked, skeptical.

    Lea grinned as he remembered Saïx’s fearful reaction to his phone. “Something Ienzo came up with. Lets you contact people even if they’re other worlds. There’s calling, texting, and video-ing.”

    The phone pinged. Lea turned it on vibrate.

_K. Be there in a few._

    “Who did you send a message to?”

    “Kairi. She’ll fetch a mirror.”

    “Tell her thank you.”

    “Would you like to?”

    Isa shied for a moment, as if the idea of interacting with a person other than Lea terrified him. Then he nodded.

    “She’s helped you. I likely owe her more than a thanks.”

    “Yeah, but don’t tell her that. Kairi takes advantages of kiss-asses.”

    “I’m not a kiss-ass.” Isa huffed, but said nothing further in self-defense.

    Lea didn’t push his luck, and let the teasing fall away. It felt wonderful, to sit here and banter with his old friend, then slide into comfortable rather than awkward silence.

    “You look well.” Isa murmured.

    Lea fought down a blush unsuccessfully. “You too.”

    Isa finally smiled, his lips parting just a bit.

    There was a knock on the door, and Lea answered it while Isa watched him. Kairi was hovering outside, chewing her lip with nervousness and holding the mirror out to Lea with both hands.

    “You can come in.” He invited, taking the mirror.

    “You’re sure?”

    “Yeah, he wants to say hi.”

    They entered the room, Kairi staying close to the door while Lea went over to Isa and handed him the mirror. While they’d been talking, Isa had slid his legs over the bedside and pulled the covers up a bit more, trying to look a bit more presentable. Lea wondered if Isa felt naked without the coat, but didn’t regret removing it. It would’ve been ridiculously hot if he’d been left to sleep in it—plus he never could resist admiring the muscular definition of Isa’s arms and chest, even if covered by a black tank.

    Lea himself was only wearing a blank tank and pants, his coat hung next to Isa’s in the closet. Isa shouldn’t feel too out of place.

    “Hello, Kairi.” Isa greeted, having clutched the mirror to his chest so that he couldn’t see his reflection.

    “Hi, Isa.” Kairi’s voice was small, but confident.          

    Her eyes darted between Lea and Isa, but her smile was welcoming nonetheless.

    “Thank you, for helping Lea. I know he can be a handful.” Isa’s gratitude was reverent, his teasing however…

    Lea rolled his eyes. “Hey now...”

    “Not a problem. He’s easy once you have him trained.”

    “I couldn’t agree more.”

    Alright, they’d had sixty seconds to make fun of him. That was enough. Lea ushered Kairi out, but she didn’t seem upset about it. She waved goodbye to Isa, then stuck her tongue out at Lea as she made her way down the hall.

    Lea barely remembered to lock the door before returning to Isa. Now that he was out of the chair, Lea couldn’t force himself back into it. He stood at the end of the bed, but Isa patted the covers next to him.

    “Sit.” Isa requested, quiet, _gentle_.

    Lea did so. Then, Isa held out the mirror, gazing into it with shock. He was seeing his adult self as he never had. _Blue_ eyes. No scar. Hair long and messy, parted at the crown rather than perfectly combed back as he’d—no, his Nobody had—kept it.

    Lea had to fight himself with every ounce of willpower not to physically comfort Isa. He was dedicated to not scaring him away.

    “You’re beautiful.” He settled for reassuring with his words instead.

    Isa’s eyes watered, consciousness suddenly becoming too much. “Lea…”

    The mirror clattered to the floor as Isa pulled Lea to him, hugging as tightly as his weakened body could allow. Lea couldn’t tell the difference, not really. This hug just felt softer than the last time Saïx had had his arms wrapped around him—and that had been a _long_ time ago. Isa rested his forehead on Lea’s shoulder, eyes closed tight and mind focusing on the warmth radiating from Lea’s skin to distract him from thinking.

    Lea hugged back, further tucking Isa against him. Neither of them spoke, until Isa began to drift off again and requested to lay down. He pouted when Lea fetched the curaga from his desk, but accepted the potion only after Lea promised to hold him until he fell asleep. Lea found his protests endearing, particularly because Isa had always gotten gooey when he was sleepy, in their teenage years. Seeing that that hadn’t been changed, after everything…

    Lea was beyond the moon with relief.


	11. Chapter 11

    Isa didn’t wake up again until the next morning. When he sat up and rubbed the sleep from his eyes he found Lea’s side of the bed empty and cold. He reached out his hand and placed it on the soft fabric. Where had Lea gone so early? He hadn’t left a note, as the desk was empty save for the novel Lea had been reading yesterday. Isa hoped he had gone to get them breakfast.

    He didn’t feel like lying down to wait, especially since his headache was gone, so he stood and picked up the navy blue pants and shirt that had been set on Lea’s chair. It was clear the clothes were for him so that he could change out of the Organization coat. Once he had, he felt lighter, and so began his daily stretching routine. The only downside was that activity not only stimulated his body, but also his mind.

    It was strange being with Lea in such a casual setting again after all that had happened. Comfortable-strange, somehow, which Isa was beyond thankful for. Yesterday he’d been conscious for such a short time but their friendly conversation had given him a good feeling about their situation. Lea seemed genuinely happy to have him back, and now that Isa’s heart had returned to him he found himself sharing that joy. It was a bonus that Lea seemed confident that most of the others who inhabited this place—Isa didn’t know where he was aside from Lea’s room in what was likely the Light Guardians’ headquarters—would warm up to him.

    That didn’t mean it would be easy to gain their favor. Isa was going to have to redeem himself _a lot_ , especially for a certain pair of teenagers. A part of him left over from the mangled reconstruction of a heart that had been occurring in Saïx’s body still resented the two for winning over Axel. But Roxas and Xion had never, truly, done anything wrong. Isa would have to combat that feeling for everyone’s sakes.

    Feeling…it had been so long since he’d felt anything tangible, anything that choked the air from his lungs, anything that made his stomach twist, anything that made him feel as though he were floating on clouds. For so long all he’d known was echoes of hate and anger, amplified by ingrained behaviours. He’d heard, as a child, that adults had control over their emotions, that they felt them yet knew what to do with them. Isa had been cheated of learning that trick. Eighteen year olds still had a long way to go in that respect and Isa had lost his heart before seeing the dawn of nineteen. He’d have to ask Lea how he had trained himself over the past year.

    It was then that the door swung open, interrupting his thoughts. Isa glanced up a bit from his downward-dog pose and saw black pants bunched over tan-black shoes. They didn’t look like Lea’s…The visitor didn’t say a word, nor did they move. Sensing this wasn’t Kairi, either, Isa dropped his knees to the floor and found himself looking up at Roxas.

    There went _feelings_ again. Isa’s stomach tightened with nerves, uncertain how Roxas would react if he’d come in here because Lea had sent him, or if he was looking for Lea and had found the face of an ex-enemy instead.

    To his surprise, Roxas smiled. Nothing grand, just a pull on the left of his lips.

    “I’m looking for Ax—Lea. Do you know where he is?”

    Now Isa was ruled by confusion. Why was _that_ the first thing Roxas said to him? Shouldn’t he be chewing him out, or clobbering him with his keyblade for all the awful things he’d done?

    “I’ll take that as a no…” Was the response to Isa’s silent staring.

    Roxas closed the door behind him. The sound echoed in Isa’s head for a moment as he wondered what would happen next. Would Roxas tell everyone else he was there? Would he just go find Lea? Isa knew, one way or another, he would see Roxas again. It would be best if he prepared some kind of sentiment rather than sit like a stunned fish again.

    Isa continued the rest of his stretches, then went through the cardboard box of books Lea had retrieved from the tower. He needed something to occupy his mind while he waited for Lea to come back, or boredom would drive him crazy in these small quarters.

~^-^~

    The shit-eating grin couldn’t be helped. Really, it couldn’t. The last thing Roxas had expected to see in Lea’s room had been someone else, much less _Isa_. Yet there he’d been, doing some kind of weird…okay so maybe he was just exercising but it had been super awkward for the man who’d spent so much time insulting Roxas to be on his knees before him.

    That aside, as soon as Roxas spotted Lea on the training field with Kairi, he marched right up to him and broke the pair’s concentration. He jabbed a finger at Lea’s chest with his back to Kairi, his voice sounding angry while he fought off his grin.

    “I need to talk to you. _Now_.”

    “Uh, hey, buddy. I’m kinda busy?” Lea gestured to Kairi with his keyblade and cocked his head, eyebrows furrowed in confusion from Roxas’ anger, considering they hadn’t seen each other in about five days.

    Jerk deserved to be baffled for not giving Roxas a heads up.

    “Not busy enough.” Roxas snapped, then began dragging Lea from the field by his shirt.

    The sound of two keyblades disappearing was followed by Lea profusely apologizing and Kairi dismissing him with amused confusion. Roxas let go once they were inside and continued on toward the bedroom hall.

    “Not that I’m not thrilled to see you again, but where are we going?” Lea’s voice confirmed that he was still following.

    “Your room.”

    “Why…?” Lea definitely sounded nervous.

    At least Roxas could rest assured Lea knew Isa was there.

    “You’re going to explain.”

    Lea let out a heavy sigh. Then a hand dropped on Roxas’ shoulder and pulled him to a halt in the hall, just beside Lea’s door.

    “You went in, didn’t you.” He stated rather than asked, voice resigned as though he thought Roxas would go back on his word and be _angry_ that Isa was alive.

    As if. Roxas was truly thrilled for him. He turned around and beamed up at Lea, dropping the angry act.

    “Yeah! You should’ve sent me a text, dummy! He didn’t say anything to me, but how long has he been here?”

    Lea stared at him for a moment, then a smile of his own began to sneak onto his face as though it were unsure it was truly allowed.

    “Three nights ago.”

    “Three…is he…?” Isa looked alright, so why had he been cooped up in Lea’s room?

    But Lea’s smile grew as he moved around Roxas to open the door, so maybe Isa was fine and Lea just hadn’t told anyone else. That seemed feasible.  

    “Come on.”

    Isa was sitting on the floor with a cardboard box between his legs and his back leaned against the closet door. In his hands was a small book with a purple cover. A book Roxas instantly recognized. All thoughts of talking with Isa, getting to know the person Lea loved, were gone.

    That was _his_ book. Lea—no, _Axel_ —had kept his book, in the box with the rest of the ones from his childhood. _Prized possessions_ , he’d called them. Really, they’d been reminders. Physical memories.

    And he’d kept Roxas’.

    Roxas had only cried a few times since becoming truly human. He’d teared up a bit when Sora and Riku had brought he and Xion to Lea. He’d lost himself in sorrow beside Sora’s comatose form, hoping with all his heart that his other half would wake up. Then there had been a few rough nights, nights Lea had been somewhere else in the universe and Roxas had had to sleep alone—Xion wasn’t the cuddling type.

    And now.

    Tears filled his vision. Roxas went over to Isa and held out a hand, using the other to clear his eyes. Isa closed the book and handed it to him, expression as nervous as it had been earlier. Did he expect Roxas to hit him with it? Roxas chuckled at the thought.

    “You kept it.” He explained, waving the book at Lea.

    “Course I did.” Lea shrugged from where he’d taken up leaning next to the doorframe.     

    “That’s why you wouldn’t tell me.” Isa murmured, and the others turned their attention to him.

    “Yeah.”

    Roxas sat on the opposite side of the box from Isa, and began picking through the books as well. It was a bit awkward at first, but Roxas wanted to know which books were Lea’s and which were Isa’s. When Axel had shown him the box, all he’d said that they were from his childhood. But now that Roxas knew his book had been kept, he knew that some of them were Isa’s.

   Lea joined them on the floor, leaning his side against the wall beside Isa. Roxas asked book by book, and soon Isa and Lea ended up sharing stories of their childhood with Roxas. They continued for the rest of the day, until a knock on the door doused them all with antidote from the cloud of nostalgia that had filled the room.

   Lea answered it, and Kairi bounced inside. Roxas was confused as to why she wasn’t reacting to Isa, but before he could ask she was ruffling his hair.

    “Having a slumber party?” She teased them, winking down at Roxas.

    “Yeah and you better watch it, or you’ll get hit with a pillow.” Roxas teased right back, and they both devolved into laughter and giggles as he leapt off the floor to grab Lea’s pillow off his bed.

    Then they proceeded to play a game of chase around the far too small room. Isa scrambled out of the way.

    “Children! Settle down!” Lea hollered, guiding Isa to the corner he’d retreated to.

    “We’re not kids!” Kairi yelled back.

    Lea yanked the pillow out of Roxas’ arms when he next passed, then bopped him on the head with it.

    “Hey! Now who’s the kid?” Roxas said through his laughter.

    Ah, having a heart was so much fun.

    Kairi sat on the bed, panting, and announced, “Dinner’s ready, by the way.”

    Lea deflated a bit, and it took Roxas a short moment to realize he’d been right. Isa couldn’t go with them, because the others didn’t know. Speaking of which, why was it that Kairi knew? That sounded like a story he needed to hear.

    “Any chance they have mashed potatoes?” Isa asked, but his eyes were on his feet.

    “I’ll bring you some. Make them, if I have to.” Lea smiled, trying to bring up the sudden downcast mood between the two of them.

    “We can eat in here.” Roxas suggested.

    “That isn’t nec—.” Isa began to protest, but Kairi cut him off.

    “Yeah! It’ll be fun with the four of us.”

    “Won’t the others get confused? It’s not like you spend that much time with Roxas and I.”

    Kairi stuck her tongue out. “Things change, dummy.”

    The thought crossed Roxas’ mind that he really should spend more time with Kairi. She was awesome, not to mention completely unimpressed or afraid of Lea. Roxas liked that he had the ability to knock Lea down a peg, and he tended to like others who could do the same. Like Xion, and Isa if the stories of their childhood were anything to go by.

    Lea lead the way to the kitchen. He got extra food for Isa, and had to special order mashed potatoes—the benefit of a magic kitchen was that he didn’t _actually_ have to cook them himself. Then with the fairly lame excuse that they wanted to hang out and leave Sora and Riku to their own devices—a comment which had made Sora turn red and Riku look smug—they paraded back to Lea’s room.

    Eating dinner with this new, jumbled family was so much fun. Roxas looked forward to when Isa was ingrained with the others, so that Xion could be with them, too. He felt bad leaving her out, but understood without having to talk about it that it there was no other choice.

    If Xion knew that Isa was here, without preamble and explanation, she would be distraught. She’d told Roxas, during one of their late nights without Lea, of the lasting imprint Saïx’s hatred had left on her. She’d admitted that if Isa came back, she would have a very hard time seeing him as a new person, someone who mattered to Lea and therefore would have to be in her life. But Xion didn’t want to have a life without one of her best friends, so she’d given herself one choice. Roxas had comforted her, assuring her that he would still be there, too, and that if she needed escape if the time came he would go with her.

    Sora had told Roxas when he’d first gotten back that morning that Ven and Xion had been visiting worlds together while he’d been in Twilight Town. He reminded himself now that he needed to thank Ven for being there for her, even though Roxas was sure Ven needed her company, too.

    The night wrapped up afterward, with Kairi and Roxas returning everyone’s dishes to the kitchen before going to their separate rooms. Kairi paused outside her door, which came first, before tugging on Roxas’ sleeve to get his attention.

    “We’re going to have to stand up for him.” She whispered.

    She didn’t specify, but Roxas knew Kairi meant Isa. He agreed wholeheartedly. It would help Isa’s case to the others if he had others than Lea vouching for him.

    “I know. He deserves a second chance.”

    “Alright. Night, Roxas.” Kairi said, with a quick kiss to his cheek.

     Roxas went to bed with a smile on his face.


	12. Chapter 12

    The day the others found out came sooner than Lea or Isa would have liked, but it was unavoidable. As anyone could guess, Sora was the first to notice that something was up with Lea.

    “First, you never get sick, second, you hate not being around people for too long, third, you declined my offer to spar yesterday which _never_ happens.” Sora listed each item on his fingers standing in Lea’s room where he’d burst in a minute before, despite Kairi trying her best to manhandle him away.

    The sounds of their struggling had brought mirthful smiles to Isa and Lea’s lips. They appreciated that she’d tried, but it was just Sora. He was kind.

    But Sora could only keep a secret from Riku for as long as he wasn’t in sight. So, within a whole hour of Sora finding out Lea had yet another uninvited guest in his room. Riku regarded Isa with cold, unfriendly eyes. In the early days when Lea had first joined the crew, he’d found himself the target of that very stare. It was unnerving at best, fear-inducing at worse, as though Riku were daring his victim to _just go ahead and try something_ so he could rip them apart.

    But Riku accepted Isa’s presence in the tower after a heated discussion of who was going to keep watch of him and why it _absolutely was not_ just going to be Lea. They agreed to have a meeting with the others the next morning because it was time for everyone to know a second ex-Organization member was in their home.

    And so that was how they found themselves in Yen Sid’s office, Isa leaning heavily against Lea since he really hadn’t been farther than the bathroom in a few days. Everyone else was gathered to the side of the desk, each sizing Isa up in their own way which only made Isa’s grip on Lea’s arm tighter.

    If someone rejected Isa and the others agreed they’d have to leave. But…they had nowhere else to go. 

    Donald was livid, as to be expected. He’d already had a hard time trusting Lea, there was no way in hell he would accept a second former-Organization member onto their team. Goofy looked indecisive, always one to lean toward the benefit of the doubt. Mickey, too. That was something Lea genuinely appreciated about them. Aqua, Terra, and Ven were completely sympathetic. They understood just how important it was to trust someone’s return to the light. Lea already knew he had Roxas’, Kairi’s, Riku’s, and Sora’s approval, but it still helped that three of them were standing closest.   

    But Xion…it had been so long since he’d seen that face. Betrayal, written clean across her features. She leaned against the far wall, hiding behind the others with her eyes on the floor, arms crossed, and complexion pale. Saïx had been her one-true enemy. And here was Lea, one of her closest friends, admitting that he loved the man who’d thrown her out with the trash. Lea wanted to show her that Isa was not Saïx, never was and never could be. But he knew she would resist, unless Roxas could get her to come around.

        Roxas, who was leaning against the wall with her, providing the comfort Lea wasn’t allowed to provide. It made sense to Lea—they’d always had each other, and always should. Even if he wasn’t in the picture.

    Xion chose not to voice her opinion when asked. With only her and Donald truly opposed it was determined that Isa could stay. He was to be supervised by Riku, Sora, and Kairi in alternating shifts. Whether Lea was present or not didn’t matter—except that he was required to return to training tomorrow. Isa was granted the small mercy of staying in Lea’s room at night, the others deciding he wasn’t worth losing sleep over. They warned the two against plotting anything during that time, but Isa and Lea had adamantly insisted they wouldn’t. That satisfied everyone but Donald who really wasn’t in a compromising mood.

    So, they were released. Sort of. Sora spent the morning with them, then Kairi the afternoon. Having a third person around wasn’t very exciting or comfortable while Lea gave Isa a tour of the tower, then the grounds. Isa was reserved, likely not wanting to say anything personal or incriminating. He commented on material things only, like the flower garden, the architecture, and the vast library collection. Lea didn’t mind so much, it was nice to just be together and enjoying something so simple. They spent the rest of the afternoon in the library, only leaving for dinner because Kairi began to complain that her stomach was empty. Isa had an armful of books with him, which he set on a counter in the kitchen to retrieve later before taking the seat to Lea’s right—Roxas’.

    Dinner was quiet that night. Ven, Aqua, and Terra yet to return from whatever world it was they had gone to for the day. Donald, Goofy, and the King had returned to their own world for the next week or so. Lea hadn’t seen Xion or Roxas for the rest of the day. They’d gone to another world together, that much he was sure of, but he’d hoped to at least catch Xion’s eye, give her a smile or _something_.

    Lea tried very hard to ignore the knot in his stomach.

    After dinner, it was Riku’s turn to join them. At first it seemed as though the last few hours they could hide in Lea’s room were going to be filled with mistrusting glares. But, Sora and Kairi came to the rescue. They brought everyone their favourite flavours of ice cream and herded them outside to watch the sunset. They gathered on the grass by the edge of the small world where the view was best to watch the sun give way to endless stars. Isa sat on Lea’s right, away from everyone else. It allowed them to be physically close while being subtle about it.

    Finally, the time arrived and they were left alone in Lea’s room. They found folded pajamas with little black dogs decorating the royal blue fabric on the bed. The two hovered awkwardly for a moment, before Isa huffed and changed into the clothes.

    “That was painful.”

    Arms wrapped around Lea’s waist and a forehead rested between his bare shoulder blades. Lea let his own arms, trapped in his nightshirt, fall to his sides.

    “Yeah, it was. At least it wasn’t as bad as it could’ve been.”

    Isa pressed a kiss to his skin. “It could have been _much_ worse.”

    “Heh, yeah, we could have someone in here right now.”

    “How unfortunate…for _them_.” Isa growled.

    He loosed his hands from their clasped position over Lea’s stomach, only to drag his nails over that same skin. Lea shivered. Isa’s lips trailed up to where his neck met his shoulder. A hand made its way to Lea’s jaw and turned his head so those wandering lips could claim his. Lea lost himself in Isa’s kiss for a long moment, unwilling to think or be anywhere else than in the bubble of pleasure.

    But then, the emotional wear of the day became too much and he pushed on Isa’s chest. Isa neither questioned nor protested, merely retreated to the bed while Lea finished changing. They curled up together and were soon asleep.


	13. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to get this done before I reached the scenes in KH3 with Saix and Lea. I didn't want canon to influence the end of this fic. Aside from the fact that Nomura stole my idea for them to sit together and talk on the Tower but...eh, now y'all get two versions of that.  
> That being said there are NO spoilers for KH3 within this, and anything that is similar is merely coincidence.

    Lea sat with favourite ice cream in hand and legs dangling over the edge of the short wall. Nervous energy coursed through his veins, preventing this from appearing relaxed as he’d intended.

    Isa was going to explain everything to him. Why he’d fallen for Xemnas’ lies, why he’d gotten so angry with Xion and Roxas, why he’d come around in the end. Lea wanted to know the answers to those questions, but having to rehash every bad thing that had happened between them over the last ten years—now with emotions—was going to be awful.

    Isa shifted next to him, switching around the crossing of his ankles. He didn’t have ice cream, probably too nervous to eat whereas Lea could eat almost anywhere, anytime.

    “How do you sit up here for so long?” Isa grumbled, shifting again so that his leg pressed against Lea’s.

    Lea chuckled and poked Isa’s side with an elbow. “I have my secrets.”

    “Right.” Isa scoffed, disbelieving.

    A heavy silence threatened their conversation. Lea pulled a knee up to his chest to lean on a bit, simultaneously solidifying the contact between his other leg and Isa. One of his secrets. Now he needed to ask about Isa’s.

    “So, how’d Xemnas get you hooked? I remember you didn’t start out believing him.”

    Isa nodded, then began his tale in a somber tone.

    “That’s right, I didn’t. I still believed in you and I. Xemnas and the others were the enemy—they had taken our homes, our _lives_. I hated them. But…I hated myself more. For not being able to protect you from them. I…” Isa took a deep breath and controlled its release.

    He folded his hands in his lap. “I blamed myself for our deaths. I thought, _‘if I had only dug my feet in’_ , _‘continued to refuse to go’_ , then I could’ve stopped you and it never would’ve happened. But I didn’t. I was afraid you would go without me, and I wouldn’t be there to help if something happened. But I _was_ there and didn’t help.”

    Isa’s voice shook, and instinctively Lea placed his free hand over Isa’s. He didn’t bother to argue—they had long stopped arguing over that day. Each had their own perspective and their own guilt, and both wished it had never happened. But, both knew neither of them would be alive in this moment if it hadn’t. That knowledge came with a weird, trapped feeling.

    “So, I hated myself, and I hated the Organization. But you were still there and still needed me. For a while it was enough. I held on to who I had been. I knew that if I gave into the hatred that consumed me I would hurt you, and lose you. I didn’t want that. You were my best friend, my first love, my last reminder of my humanity. I _needed_ you when I didn’t have the capacity to need anything.

“After a while Xemnas began to take me to his office and show me his plans for the false Kingdom Hearts—of course he never told me his true intentions. Just that removing their hearts had been the first stage in the researchers’ long, long experiment. The next stage was to recomplete themselves. I held promise as a part of the research team with my scientific and leadership skills from school. He asked me to oversee everyone else, aside from Zexion and Vexen, to make sure hearts were being collected so they could continue their work.

“The idea of recompletion was what trapped me. I wanted to be whole again so I could _feel_ for you. Not having a heart had taken the most treasured part of myself away. I had to have it back, at any cost except the loss of you.”

    Isa gave a sharp, self-deprecating laugh, turning his hands over so one could squeeze Lea’s. Lea remembered those days. The days Saïx smiled because he believed they would be themselves sooner than later.

    “Yet I lost you anyway. I became obsessed with getting our hearts back, that I lost sight of one of the most important aspects of a relationship: wellbeing. I didn’t care—couldn’t care, but that’s no excuse—how you felt about anything. I assumed you couldn’t feel, or if you did it was only the same consuming anger I felt. I assumed that, since I’d told you about it, you had the same priority—to get our hearts back. For a while it was easy to believe. You helped with each step of my plan to sabotage Marluxia so he couldn’t get in the way of our recompletion. You helped me stay on Xemnas’ good side and by proxy kept on it yourself. You still behaved as though you loved me, as though you knew how it felt to love years after we’d forgotten the feeling. But then…”

    But then. Lea knew what happened then. Isa didn’t have to say it, but Lea wouldn’t stop him. He did, however, keep his eyes trained on the city below their feet.

    “Roxas.” Isa’s tone was so bitter that Lea flinched.

    “It was as though you’d found your heart again. You began to act less like Axel and more like Lea—you _felt_ and I knew you did, because sometimes I swore I could hear something in your chest. I was jealous. Jealous that you’d found a way to regrow your heart, and jealous that it was with someone other than myself. Xion came along as well, and by then I knew I’d lost you.

“You treated the two of them with such kindness, but became ever more hostile toward me. I blamed the children, I thought they were planting seeds of doubt in your mind. Doubt against me, rather than the Organization itself. I knew they didn’t like me. I was the ‘boss’, the one who made them do things they didn’t want to. And later, I became the enemy, the one keeping you from them, and keeping all three of you from happiness.

“That jealousy quickly fed into hatred. I began to hate you, Lea.” Isa’s body trembled, this time.

    Lea wasn’t sure what to think of that. He’d known that part, too, but hearing it aloud…it hurt. He’d never wanted Saïx to hate him, but it had been all too easy to distrust him once the teens had come around and shown Axel that it was foolish to continue to blindly follow orders from a man he no longer knew. Saïx had kept so much from him near the end—that Axel had had to find out _the hard way_ about Roxas’ and Xion’s true purpose still frustrated him.

    Isa hadn’t said any more, so Lea leaned against him a bit to reassure him he was still there, and not about to go any world else.

    “It’s okay, Isa. I’m still listening. Can I ask, what made you change your mind?” Lea referred to the fact that Saïx had come looking for him, had wanted Lea to save him.

    Isa rested his head on Lea’s shoulder. For a few moments his eyes glazed as he stared out at nothing, coming up with a response. Finally, the trembling came to a gradual stop. This time when Isa spoke it was with conviction, rather than sadness and self-hatred.

    “I became tired of Xehanort’s lies. And…I missed you. I didn’t know it then, but now it’s all too obvious. I wanted my heart back, but my heart was still with you. You made the difference between misery and happiness. I only wish—.”

    Lea briefly entertained himself with thoughts of his half-finished ice cream landing on one of the people with poor luck to pass under the tower at that moment.

    He lifted Isa’s head with his now-free hand and kissed him.

    _Wish I had realized it sooner_.

    Lea wished many things. Wished he’d fought with Saïx harder to convince him that Xemnas was evil, or had taken him with him by force when he’d left the Organization to find Sora, or had gone after him as soon as he’d come back as a human. But wishing didn’t do any good. And it wouldn’t change that they’d finally made it out. Alive, no less, and _human_.

    Lea had _Isa_ in his life again. That was all he could ever wish for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for reading this monster of a fic. I'm glad to be done with it so I can get on to my new ideas, though I love the character studies I was able to accomplish within this. I hope you did too.
> 
> Happy KH3-ing! <3 sherlockwolf


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